December Blush box

Beauty box came today! Here's everything you ever wanted to know about it:

Lisa Hoffman Beauty Madagascar Orchid Moisturizing Body Cleanse. There are about 10 more words in the official name of this product but you get the picture. This is very fancy stuff. You put it in the bath with you and it will nourish you.

Nailtiques Avocado Foot Crème. This is very fancy stuff pour les pieds. It has French on it so obviously it's very fancy. I haven't opened it to smell because I have so much foot crèmes pour mis pieds already. Foot crèmes coming out of mis orielles!

NYX Love in Paris eye shadow palette. At first I was like, uh, eye shadow? But now I'm like, eh, okay. This looks like high-quality stuff and I might as well own some eye shadow that's not blue, right?

REN Hydra-calm Global Protection Day Cream. GLOBAL protection! This is another tube of stuff for your face. It's got omegas and other oils and it's for sensitive skin, which is good because that's what I've got. This looks nice.

Neova Make-up Remover. Oh good, makeup remover, because now I've got all this makeup that will need to be removed.

Murad Advanced Active Radiance Serum. Oh good, active radiance serum.

NeoStrata Exfoliating Wash. Oh good, exfoliating wash. I'm not being sarcastic about that. I'm glad to have gotten this and will try it out.

Éminence Stone Crop Body Lotion. Guys, this is from that Hungarian company that sent the amazing strawberry exfoliating stuff a couple months ago! That stuff is fabulous! This is probably fine as well.

Sultra Clip-In Color Hair Extension in Ultra Pink. Okay. This is 100% premium Indian Remy Human Hair. Is this where the hair I've donated goes to? Oh my god. What? Why. Pink. Does anyone want this? Someone on the internet got cheetah-patterned. If I'd gotten a cheetah-print hair extension I would have... I don't know what I would have done, but I would have done something.

Cotz Face Sunscreen. This is a sample of face sunscreen, just a small sample.

SweetSpot Labs on-the-go wipettes. Guys! This might be the most exciting thing yet! This is a wipette for your hoohaw! It says it's a "luxury wipette to keep your sweet spot set." It says, "One wipette per use and toss. Smile all day." Smile all day? Hmm, why, SweetSpot? Also, why would I wipe my hoohaw? Wouldn't this be better served on the bum? Or is the bum the sweet spot? Is that what you're talking about? I can't tell. I'd just assume the sweet spot would be the hoohaw. If you mean bum, just say bum. I don't know what to do with this.

So that's it! Well done, Blush Mystery Beauty Box! So exciting! A+++ Oh god, what will come next month!!! Hooray!!! Thank you for reading this far.