February 2015 Blush Mystery Beauty Box

Here's a quick rundown of the last year with the Blush Mystery Beauty Box, formerly the best mystery beauty box:

In 2014, the Blush Mystery Beauty Box started sucking in mysterious and confusing ways:

• They sent out more shampoo than you can shake a stick at.
• They sent repeat items frequently, sometimes only a month or two after the first time.
• They sent expired products and it seemed like they were clearing out extra inventory rather than thoughtfully putting together a collection of products.

I kept hoping it would get better, but it only got worse, so finally in November I canceled my subscription.

Then! The December box came out and it looked great, so I resubscribed. I was very happy.

Then! The featured item for January was an item that we'd received in December, and another item was one we'd received a couple months before that. The internet was SO MAD. I think Blush included that product in December's box by mistake and only meant for it to be in January's but maybe the Blush Mystery Beauty Box is put together by robots who don't notice things like that. But whatever. Blush sent out a shitty coupon apologizing for the duplicate items. I decided to hold on another month but if they sent more duplicates or shampoo I'd unsubscribe again.

This month is February. Here's my review for this month, along with a subjective and illogical rating system.

February 2015 Blush Mystery Beauty Box

Alterna Bamboo Smooth Kendi Pure Treatment Oil - This is stuff for your hair. I've used it a couple times. It smells nice and my hair seems to like it. +10 points
 
100 Percent Pure Creamy Nail Polish in Kiss - I don't like the color (reddish pink) but we haven't gotten fingernail polish in a long time and getting fingernail polish from the Blush Mystery Beauty Box changed my life. I'll give this away because I don't wear pinkish red fingernail polish but I approve of this. +5 points
 
Cargo Liquid Liner in Black - Blush sends Cargo products frequently but they haven't sent much eyeliner lately. I probably won't wear this but if I wore eyeliner I would. +5 points
 
Neostrata Skin Active Antioxidant Defense Serum - We get a lot of these "antioxidant" "defense" "serums" and I don't know if there's any difference between any of them but I'll use this and don't mind it. It's a small sample so if I don't like it I won't have to deal with it for long. +5 points
 
TOCCA Hand Cream in Stella - This is the featured item this month and you got one of three flavors. I got blood orange. Yum! Delicious! This is nice stuff! +10 points
 
TOCCA Eau de Parfum in Stella - Small sample of perfume. Normally I'm not into perfume, but this is the same flavor as the hand cream, and it seems like they matched the flavors for everyone. And that's nice! That brings the points for this up from 5 points to +15 points
 
Juliette Has a Gun Perfume - Oh, another small sample of perfume. I'm impressed by the thoughtfulness of the TOCCA perfume/hand cream, but this... it's French, but mostly I'm confused about the name. She has a gun? Good for her. Does she smell good? Does her gun smell good? What does a gun have to do with this? -10 points

Vichy Idealia Life Serum - Oh, another "serum". That's a -10, but it's French, so +0 points
 
Sarah Potempa The Wrap Up - A thing to put your hair into fancy buns that look like bagels. This won't work for people who don't have bun hair, but it's a unique item. I'm a little freaked out by perfect buns but luckily for me (or unluckily) my hair still looks like a pile of straw and not a bagel. +10 points

Total points out of a possible one million: +50 points

No, wait, I really like that hand cream, it's worth another 10 points. So, all together, +60 points!

I won't unsubscribe after this month but Blush is still on shaky grounds. I'm not trying to be a jerk but it really hasn't been happy times lately for subscribers of the Blush Mystery Beauty Box. BMBB4eva? I don't know.

Will Blush send shampoo next month? Will they send another tube of TOCCA Hand Cream? If they did would I be upset about the duplicate or would I be happy to get another tube of super great hand cream? Tune in next month to find out!

September Blush Mystery Beauty Box, and very important updates

Hi! You haven't heard from me in months. That's because the summer was too hot for blogging, not because I wasn't getting any beauty boxes.

Yesterday my SEPTEMBER BLUSH MYSTERY BEAUTY BOX arrived.

Here's what I got this month: fancy bronzer stick (won't use), pigment corrector (not sure how this is supposed to work), Klorane dry shampoo (love!), hair goop (these never work well for me), sensitive touch cleansing wipes (which I will not use on my hoohaw but which would have been useful in the summer for armpits and feet), and more lip gloss. The last thing I need is any more of any of this stuff but it's so exciting! I put on the lip gloss last night and it smells like some gross powdery sports drink but looks fabulous.

Blush Mystery Beauty Box! Still the best mystery beauty box!

Now, here are some important updates:

I unsubscribed from Julep! :( x 100. Was it the worst mistake I've ever made in my life? I don't know. I liked Julep, it just got ridiculous. I own so many fingernail polishes now. I have been mostly bite-free since last October, though, and I will always think fondly of Julep.

I'm still subscribed to Birchbox but am going to cancel after this month. Birchbox is fine, it's only ten bucks, I just can't deal with the slow shipping. Also, apparently, the main draw for Birchbox is the points you get when you review the products you get every month. Points = $$, and when you accrue enough points you can get free stuff. I don't need any more stuff, and I don't have the time or patience to review products, so I'm not taking advantage of this point system and might as well quit. Birchbox has been nice. I signed up for it because everyone on the internet complained about it so much, and I've been pretty happy with it.

I got a Memebox Superbox! It was the aloe one, full of Korean beauty products containing aloe. It was awesome. I'm not going to say anything more about it, just that it was awesome, really awesome. Memebox puts together really neat boxes and I wish I could order more.

I also just ordered a Beauteque Beauty Bag! I don't know why I did it. I saw someone's review of theirs and was filled with longing, so, click, I got one. This month's contains something made of snail slime, I believe, which I guess must be super great for your skin. Beauteque, it seems, doesn't do a subscription - like Memebox you order the boxes one at a time. So I'll get this one and then no more, for real. Then I will go back to being a fine lady who receives only one beauty box per month.

That's it. Thank you for reading.

May 2014 Blush Mystery Beauty Box

I can't really believe it's taken me until the end of the month to post about the Blush Mystery Beauty Box. There are a couple reasons, one being that I've been stupid busy with my stupidly stupid job, and the other being that I'm apparently a little underwhelmed by the Blush Mystery Beauty Box. It's not the Blush Mystery Beauty Box's fault, I think, but rather that you can only get beauty boxes for so long before you stop needing them and freaking out about them.

This month's theme was "Instant Refresher" which doesn't really mean anything but it's supposed to make you think nice things about it. Okay.

This month's featured curator is the CEO of Beauty Bus Foundation. Beauty Bus provides in-home beauty services for people who are sick. For every 10 Blush Mystery Beauty Boxes sold this month, Blush donated one box to Beauty Bus. That's nice. It is nice.

The curator's pick was the glo minerals Blush Duo in Bare/Hibiscus. It's full-sized but pretty small, which is fine, because no one wants to have blush last for two decades. I've been using this and it's fine.

We also got Bioxidea Miracle24 Hand Mask. This is from the same people who gave us the hockey face mask with diamond dust, which I used and which was fine, if slightly cold and hockeyish. I haven't used the hand mask yet because it hasn't fit into my fingernail plans for the month so far, but I will use it someday and I'm sure it will be nice.

We also got Oilless Oil by Peter Thomas Roth. It's moisturizer for your face and whatever else needs moisturizing. I've been using this at night and I quite like it. They make a big deal out of the process they use to make this - it's from sugar cane or whatever, and they do a lot of fancy stuff to it, apparently. This seems to work nicely, and my face and I like it.

They also sent pūr~lisse pūr-moist hydra-balance moisturizer. This is the cousin of the stuff that my chin apparently hated last fall and I'm scared to try this. Also goddammit, why does the name have to be so complicated? I'm inclined to dislike it pūr~ly because of the name.

And we got Laura Geller Beauty Cool Lids Cream Eyeshadow in Silver Sands. Silvery liquid eyeshadow. I don't wear eyeshadow but this is the bombdiggity, if you will. I really like this stuff. You just use a tiny, tiny dot, and suddenly you look very, very fancy. Me gusta, Laura Geller.

And the last item. Miracle Skin Transformer Face. They sent this exact thing in October. But the tube I got in October expires in a year and a half, and the tube they sent this month expired in March. This is super weird. Weird that they're sending something they've already sent, and weird that they're sending out expired products. I could have contacted them and gotten a replacement, but I don't want a replacement, so eh.

I really like three of the products that came this month, I will probably like one product, I'm scared to use one product, and one product is stupid. Overall this was a successful box for me, but I'm still feeling underwhelmed. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm on the internet and eventually everyone has to turn into a whiner. I still think the Blush Mystery Beauty Box is the best beauty box. It's nice that this month they donated products to the Beauty Bus Foundation. The blush, eyeshadow, and oilless oil are probably among the top products I've received and I'll continue to use them for all my livelong days. Bleh.

Maybe I'm cranky because I only liked one product last month.

Maybe I need to take a nap.

April Blush Mystery Beauty Box

Blush Mystery Beauty Box! I'd been tracking this baby for a week. It got to town last Tuesday! But it sat in the post office all day and all night until the next morning, when they finally put it into my PO box. (Pro-tip for the ladies: have your precious beauty boxes delivered to your PO box during the winter so all the fancy products don't freeze waiting for you to get home from your shitty, shitty desk job that doesn't pay well at all and why do you even work there? It's not worth it, your blood pressure has gone up, you should quit and find a nice job picking up trash in parks or something. But definitely get your beauty boxes delivered to the post office in the winter.) (But if you're ordering records, get those shipped to the PO box during the summer so they don't melt. And in the winter, so they don't shatter.) (Ordering stuff is an art.)

Blush Mystery Beauty Box! This month, we received only five items, but four are full-sized, so anyone complaining about that should calm down.

This month, again, was curated by a BOY. The featured item he picked out is the Love Lips Collection Duo Crayon by La Bella Donna. This is a two-sided lip pencil thingamabob. The colors are nice but I'm not good about using these things.

We also got a full-sized can of Oscar Blandi Pronto Invisible Volumizing Dry Shampoo Spray. Half the internet is pissed about this, because we've gotten dry shampoo before, and half the internet loves this. Now that I'm a lady who goes to the gym, I use dry shampoo often, so I'm excited about this product. "Oscar Blandi" sounds very fancy but I think the fanciness of this product would be enhanced if they'd change the color of this can. It's brown. Brown is the color of poo. They should make it silver, which is the color of fabulous.

We also got a big bottle of Jonathan Infinite Volume Shampoo. Again, half the internet is pissed about this, and half loves it. Shampoo! Volumizing! Again! Some people are mad that we've gotten Jonathan products before (have we? have I?). I'm mad because this is "for fine/thin hair", which I misinterpreted when I was younger to mean that it would make your hair fine and thin, which I wanted. Who wouldn't want something to be fine? Instead, "for fine/thin hair" means that it should be used on hair that is already fine. So confusing.

We got a bottle of Cult Cosmetics Nail Polish. Some people got a greenish color, I got a dark pink. I am not a lady who wears pink or red nail polish (yet) so I'll probably give this away.

We got a small tub of Darphin Stimulskin Plus Divine Multi-Corrective Cream, which is some ridiculously expensive face stuff. It calls itself "multi-corrective divine cream", which is quite silly but very fancy, I suppose.

And then Blush always sends some free extras. And I got two foily things, and then TWO OF THE ELIZABETH ARDEN PERFUME BOTTLES that we got a couple months ago. Two of them. The bottles are very fancy and cute but I already have one! I'll give these away. I don't understand why they gave me two. Were they confused? Was it someone who was like, "I don't even care, I hate this job, I'll give this stupid lady two bottles of perfume ah ha ha."?

Guys, someday, at some point, my relationship with the Blush Mystery Beauty Box must come to an end. You get to a point where you have plenty of personal care items sitting in your bathroom, and then the beauty boxes become less and less exciting, and then you take to the internet and start complaining. Maybe I need to take a break for a few months.

I hope they start sending toothpaste and deodorant, because I could use some of that.

Very exciting updates on things

Oh man, Julep was on top of it this month - my April box got here on March 31! It was very exciting, even though I didn't particularly care for either of the colors I got: bluey-purpley iridescent and bright sparklish green. And peach blush. And they sent candy again!

Unfortunately, the bluey-purpley polish leaked into its lid a little. Not much, not a huge mess, but enough to make me feel sad and persecuted. But not enough to make me want to notify Julep about it.

I didn't think I would, but I actually like the bluey-purpley color. I refuse to post pictures, so you'll just have to imagine. The first coat is very light and if you can make it go on without being all streaky and dumb, one coat is really nice, a subtle barely-there iridescent pale blue. Two coats looks like poo, don't do that. For the finest results, you have to do three coats and a topcoat. (Someone on the internet was putting a white coat on the bottom and that looked nice. Who would have thought? Should I buy some opaque white polish in order to do that? Would Wite-Out work?)

I've decided to wear the bright green polish on race days because I think it will make me faster. I can't imagine wearing bright green fingernail polish at any other time. I will never, ever use this bottle up.

The blush is packaged very fancily, as are all Julep products. I'm sure it's nice but I haven't tried it and won't try it for another 50 years, not until I've used up all the other blushes I have.

The candy was delicious and is all gone.

OTHER EXCITING NEWS

The April Blush Mystery Beauty Box is on its way to me! I'm very excited about it, as usual, because Blush was the first beauty box I subscribed to and I am fiercely, doggedly loyal, even when my loyalty is undeserved, which it is not in the case of the Blush Mystery Beauty Box. Best mystery beauty box!

I decided to keep my Birchbox subscription for another month because I didn't dislike it soooo much last month. It was soooo okay. I don't know why everyone on the internet hates Birchbox so much. I believe I'll be getting something in this Birchbox that I got in the Blush box last month, but my face seems to like it so that's good. Blush wins! And Birchbox is fine.

Last week the internet was abuzz with talk of the ModCloth Stylish Surprise - ten bucks, a surprise. You could choose from shoes, clothing, or apartment fodder. Everyone was posting pictures of their clothing surprises, and I didn't like anything that anyone got, but I was overcome by it all and ordered one myself. I will probably get either a tenty shirt designed for an 18th century peasant or a short short dress that's so short I wouldn't even have worn it when I was 13. But who cares! It will be a stylish surprise!

It's so dumb, I told myself I wouldn't get sucked into this crap, but I ordered a Secret Surprise from Julep. I am a sucker for the words "mystery" and "surprise", it would seem. This needs to stop, guys. If you haven't yet gotten sucked into the world of beauty boxes, please try to resist. It does bring immeasurable joy, glamour, and fame, yes - but at what price? At what price???

Gaspillage d'argent! Sacrébleu!

I need to stop reading online beauty box reviews. They're so whiny and critical. Everyone is constantly disappointed by their beauty box subscriptions. They're mad because the sizes are too small or they don't like the colors. They're mad when they get something they've never used and they're mad when they get something they've already used. They're mad when someone else on the internet gets something they didn't get. They're mad when there are hair products and they're mad when there aren't hair products.

Stop harshing my open limbic system, a-holes! You guys are snotty jerks! Of course you're not going to like everything in your beauty box! If you only want things you want, you should unsubscribe from your beauty box and buy the things you want yourself!

The Blush Mystery Beauty Box is the best mystery beauty box in the world! It is mysterious and beautiful. I have been subscribed since August, and I've gotten some really great things that I never would have tried otherwise ($30 body wash). I've also gotten things that I make fun of (nail wraps), and I've gotten things that scare me (pink human hair), and I've gotten things that I didn't know I needed but now can't live without (fingernail polish). Thus far, however, I still have received no products for my ears. Nothing. Now that I think about it, that's an absolute outrage. It's very disappointing. Blush hates ears! Blush is anti-ear!

Here are the products in the March Blush Mystery Beauty Box:

There's something calling itself Spackle. Spackle! Like the stuff you put on your walls! Except this is for your face! Specifically, this is Laura Geller Beauty Spackle Under Makeup Primer. How dare they send this to me, knowing how uncomfortable I am with the concept of facial spackly stuff. Blush and Laura Geller are basically telling me that my face is drywall. It's unbelievable.

The box also contains StriVectin-SD Intensive Concentrate for Stretch Marks and Wrinkles. I am so offended by this. The implication that I need something for stretch marks and wrinkles is the height of impudence. Also, I don't know what SD stands for. San Diego? Stand Down? Or does it stand for Stupid Dummy? The potential for insult just increases the more you think about this. Highly offensive product.

We also got Miracle Skin Transformer Hydroactive Microderm. This is from the same company that made the product that gave me a huge existential meltdown a couple months ago. And here they send another product from them! Are they trying to destroy my mental health on purpose? I pay money for this!

We also got Talika Eye Therapy Patches. This is great because Talika is the company that made that eyelash goop that actually (maybe) worked, but this is terrible because these come in a little foil packet. The two eye patches are actually worth more than $10 but I can hardly enjoy them because the packaging does not meet my high standards. These patches, which can be used three times, are supposed to deliver moisturizing and anti-aging ingredients directly to the skin by osmosis. Well I don't believe in osmosis and I don't like them pushing their religious beliefs on me. It's called the First Amendment, people.

Suki washcloth. This is a 100% organic washcloth made from the highest quality cotton. It is a cream color. How dare they pry into my personal life like this.

Skinceuticals Hydrating B5 Gel. This is the featured product picked out by this month's curator, a BOY. This is the tiniest, cutest dropper bottle of stuff ever invented and I can't bring myself to say anything bad about it, except that it's not as tiny and cute as the teensy-tiny 3mL dropper bottle for the super expensive Dremu oil. Actually, comparing the two, this Skinceuticals bottle is ungainly and gauche. Too huge! Gross.

DCL Oil Free Ultra Light Hydrator. This is the hugest bottle of face moisturizer I've ever seen in my life, 3.5 oz. So they think I have skin that might like to be hydrated, do they? I'll be the one who decides whether my skin gets hydrated or not, thank you very much.

The last product is Paula's Choice Skin Perfecting 2% BHA Liquid. This is, perhaps, the most disappointing product in this month's beauty box. The internet loves Paula's Choice, but who is Paula? And why should I accept her choice? What are her qualifications for making this choice? What did she choose from? And what does BHA stand for? I don't know, but I can only assume the worst.

My free samples from Blush this month are: a small packet of nettoyant pour le visage de First Aid Beauty, and a small packet of moisturizing body lotion from Amlactin that doesn't have one word of French on the packet. :(

In sum, this month's Blush Mystery Beauty Box is the most disappointing thing I have ever experienced. It has harmed my home and my health. Yet I will continue to suffer this burden on a monthly basis.

Gaspillage d'argent? Mais non.

My first real Julep Maven box came yesterday! Julep Maven boxes are packed and packaged very nicely. Everything is very shiny and special, and everything is in English and French, which is muy importante for modern, sophisticated ladies like me. I was only going to subscribe to this box for three months but mayyyyybe I'll subscribe for four months. Or five, maybe.

Right now I'm wearing the Oxygen Nail Treatment that I got. Did you know that the French word for 'fingernail' is ongle? I didn't either! Mis ongles look tres chic without being all scary and bright. And they are being oxygenated, and my teeth haven't bitten them once today. Success!

I also got a bottle of top coat, which is very, you know, toppy and coaty, and I got the cleanup tool, which will come in handy, and I got the two bottles of nail polish - blue and creamy white. The blue, a light periwinkle, is very nice. The creamy white polish in the bottle looks like something unmentionable. Never mind about that.

Julep nail polishes are very nice, even if they are only 4-free. They cover nicely and dry nicely and stuff. And there are so many, many colors. Mucho gusto, Julep, you jerk. I want so much nail polish now.

This month's Julep box also came with: a candy stick! I ate that immediately.

Blush Mystery Beauty Box news: Well, Blush is still ignoring me because they again haven't sent me an email about the March box. But it's okay, Blush Mystery Beauty Box is still the best mystery beauty box.

This month's Blush Mystery Beauty Box is curated by a BOY. His chosen product is hydrating gel for your face, your décolleté, and the backs of your hands. A 1 oz. bottle of the stuff is $74. Given my newly acquired refined tastes for stupid expensive face crap, I will probably start buying it.

Unboxing Video - February 2014 Blush Mystery Beauty Box -

February 2014 Blush Mystery Beauty Box
$24.95 with a Subscription (Cancel anytime) - $120 Retail Value this Month (9 Items and 2 samples)

Bioxidea Miracle 48 Mask - Featured Item this month $25 Retail (I Got Gold, Kelsi had Diamond)
Klorane Dry Shampoo with Nettle - Full Size 150ml $19.50 (Yeah I can stop showering)
DHC Deep Cleansing Oil - 1 oz Travel Size $5 (Hopefully more moisturizing then face wash)
vbeaute Rub off Gentle Facial Exfoliater .50 Oz $18 (Not that excited)
Elizabeth Arden Untold Parfum - 5ml $5 Cute mini bottle, smells like all parfum
NYX Are You DeprEYEved Mascara Full Size 8ml $13 (Better than tea dyed mascara)
NCLA Designers Nail Wraps Full Size $16 (really want to use these)
Jonathan Product High Shine Control Hair Spray Full Size 10 Ounces $18.49 (Bonus Item)
Different Bonus Item then the one Kelsi received
Sample of Ren Hyrda-Calm Global Protection Cream
Sample of Jonathan Styling Creme (Would be excited to get a full size)

Please see Kelsi's post for details on each product.
Blush Mystery Beauty Box is the best.
http://beautyboxer.blogspot.com/2014/02/february-blush-mystery-beauty-box.html

P.S. I already cancelled by BirchBox Subscription but I'm waiting for my first Ipsy GlamBag and I have an annual subscription to Beauty Box 5.

Seriously, this is a lot of beauty stuff for $24.99.

February Blush Mystery Beauty Box

Shortly after my last post in which I bemoaned perceived miscarriages of justice perpetuated upon me by my most favorite beauty box in the world, Blush Mystery Beauty Box, it was brought to my attention that other people had experienced the same things I had and Blush was not, in fact, targeting me for mistreatment and abuse. So that's good news. And now the great news!!!...

My February Blush Mystery Beauty Box arrived yesterday! Here's what's in it:

Klorane Dry Shampoo with Nettle: If you are a dingbat like me who doesn't know how to use dry shampoo, you can go to the Klorane website to watch videos on how to use dry shampoo either with a hair dryer or without a hair dryer. (With a hair dryer: spray dry shampoo on hair, use hair dryer. Without a hair dryer: spray dry shampoo on hair, don't use hair dryer.) I'm doing a TRX class at noon a couple days a week and I just go back to work afterwards all sweaty and horrendous. It would behoove me professionally and personally to try to do some hygienic maintenance before returning to work, and maybe this dry shampoo will help in that regard.

DHC Deep Cleansing Oil: Everyone on the internet is excited about this. It's oil for washing your face. I've never used cleansing oil and I suppose it's time I gave it a try.

NYX Are You DeprEYEved of... Long and Full Lashes Mascara - Jet Black: This is the second tube of mascara I've gotten from Blush, and I still have two tubes that I got from my sister for Christmas a few years ago. What are you trying to tell me, Lord? You want me to start wearing mascara? Fine! I will. On the box, NYX asks if I am deprEYEved of things. No, NYX, EYE'm not deprEYEved, but thanks for taking the tEYEme to ask. EYE think this is a cute way to wrEYEte words that have a long EYE sound. Am EYE rEYEght, gEYEs? GEYEs?

BIOXIDEA Miracle 48 Excellence Diamond Face & Body Treatment: This masky mask has diamond powder in it which will make your face all sparkly. I'm assuming this effect is lost if you use this at night and then go to bed. I envision that this mask is supposed to be used by fine ladies who get out of bed at 1 in the afternoon, then take a bath and use this face mask, and then go out to dinner parties and smoke cigarettes with long holders. Etc. As I may likely be unemployed soon (NOT because I'm all stinky after TRX, but for other reasons) (reasons not related to me or my person), I am looking forward to leading such a life, and so this is a very timely product for me. Thanks, Blush!

Elizabeth Arden UNTOLD Eau de Parfum: This is a tiny fancy bottle of parfum. This is fancy on two levels - fancy on the box, which has gold leafing, and fancy in the little container, which is all prismy. I mean it's fancy on three levels, because, as parfum rather than perfume, it is also linguistically fancy. Fancy! This is described as a "fresh yet sultry fragrance inspired by the complexity and sensuality of the modern woman." Do you suppose that if you wear this it will make you more complex, sensual, and modern, or do you think you already have to be those things in order to wear it? The instructions lead me nowhere with this question.

VBEAUTE Rub Off Gentle Facial Exfoliator: Hey, if you use all these exfoliators will you eventually disappear? Is exfoliation a good way to lose weight? How much exfoliation is too much exfoliation?

NCLA Designer Nail Wraps - Pizzo: These are stickers for your fingernails! Ain't no way my teeth are getting through these things! You put them on, et voilà, your fingernails turn into tapestries! Good thing I've got these honking fingernails now. Wow. NCLA Designer Nail Wraps come to us from California. The LA in NCLA is for Los Angeles, and the NC is for Nail Crap.

And here are the extra samples that Blush sent me:

Vichy Laboratoires Eau Thermal (Thermal Spa Water): After we got a bottle of fancy water for our guts last month, I thought this might be a similar thing. It's water, in a can. It has a spray top. Do you spray this on your tongue or something? No. Our most mysterious contributor to this blog, the one known only as auntsi, told me that you spray it on your face. It's Vichy! Vichy is a spa and resort town in France! This is fancy French water, in a can!

AFA Amino Acid Skin Care Exfoliating Gel - Mild: Again with the exfoliation. Pretty soon there will be nothing left of me.

REN Hydra-Calm Global Protection Day Cream: This is a little packet of moisturizer. They sent us a half-ounce bottle of this a couple months ago. I've started using it and I like it. It's got a strong smell that I don't like, but it seems like a good moisturizer for winter. So far it hasn't caused my chin to turn into a bad place like the Chinese stuff did. God, that still makes me cry. That moisturizer was so fancy and amazing, but my chin hated it so much. Life can be so confusing and heartbreaking.

Some other lady on the internet got a giant bottle of hair spray as one of her free samples. A giant bottle of hair spray! It's okay that I didn't get that, I got eau instead and I'm not even sure her hair spray was French. In fact I think it wasn't, so I win.

Hooray! Best beauty box ever, Blush Mystery Beauty Box, A+++! I love this! What will come next month! Will they get the shipping problems fixed? Will they finally send us something for our ears? Oh man! Luckily February is a short month! We only have three more weeks of waiting.

January Blush Mystery Beauty Box UnBoxing Video

January Blush Mystery Beauty Box

$24.95 Per Month with Subscription 6-8 full size and sample size beauty items.

Miranda's January Review 
Kelsi's January Review

February Box will be out next week!

February Blush revealed item, and important updates

You guys! Oh my god! Finally Blush has unveiled the revealed item for the February box. I've been waiting for this forever!

This month's revealed item is: a freaky-looking mask. Do you like Phantom of the Opera? Well you're in luck, because with this month's Blush Mystery Beauty Box, you can BE the phantom! This is a face mask, but with an actual mask. Okay.

What else do you think will be in the box!!! Here's what I'm hoping for:

• Something for ears. So far I've gotten nothing for my ears. My ears exist too! Why aren't there any lotions or scrubs or masks for your ears? Are you supposed to use face stuff on ears? They make separate stuff for necks and chests and feet, but not ears? No way! Come on, beauty industry.
• Toothpaste, because somehow I lost mine. I hope we get toothpaste that's strong enough for the teeth of a man but pH-balanced for the teeth of a woman.
• Fingernail clippers. The best thing for keeping your fingernails short is teeth, but when you can't use those because of physician-strength fingernail polish, you'll need very sharp fingernail clippers.
• Pink toilet paper, because ladies shouldn't have to always use white toilet paper.
• Deodorant. I've been using this one kind and I'm not sure it works. I mean, it doesn't work.
• Implements, for implementing stuff.
• Record player. I think I might want to have a record player at work.
• New bike. A fine lady can never have too many bikes.
• The Who Live at the Royal Albert Hall DVD. This is really good. I don't care if you don't like The Who.
• Hair spray. I have a small travel-sized bottle of hair spray but the sprayer doesn't work anymore. It's not clogged, it just doesn't work anymore. I use hair spray twice a year and one of those instances could pop up at any time and some fancy hair spray would please me.
• Protein powder, for all of our weight-lifting needs.

UPDATES
 
I've really put the Osmosis Skincare Harmonized H20 for Digestive Health to the test by eating a lot of burritos lately. Has the harmonized water normalized my bowel functions? That is a question to which you will never know the answer, because a fine lady does not discuss her bowel functions with strangers on the internet. Did you know that the Osmosis Skincare company makes harmonized water for a wide variety of functions? They have one that will increase the SPF of your skin so you don’t have to wear sunblock anymore. Wow! I really hope they're working on one that will make you glow in the dark - that would be very useful for runners in the winter.

I can't explain it but I really like the Le Edge razy thing. Someone on the internet said they like it because they have sensitive skin that reacts to most exfoliants. The Le Edge razy thing probably won't irritate your skin because it's a piece of stainless steel. Also it won't make your shower all scummy like some sugar scrubs and other exfoliants. I just like this thing, okay? Miranda doesn’t, but I think we can all agree that she doesn't know anything.

I like the Klorane Leave-In Cream even though when it's wet it smells like a man's cologne from the '70s. When it's dry it doesn't smell like anything. It makes my hair very soft and very good. This is a large bottle. It will last years.

I used up all of the Murad Advanced Active Radiance Serum. It was fine. I don't know if it did anything. Sometimes, some of these things, as long as they don't irritate your skin they're good. I don't know if anything actually ever does anything great for me. I still look the same. But maybe slightly more radiant, I don’t know.

The Glytone Hydrate Eye Cream is fine. It would be so much fancier if it were a crème rather than a cream, though. This tube will last a long time. On the package it says it's "exclusive to physicians", which doesn't make any sense to me at all. Does anyone go to their physician for help in picking out an eye cream? Or does everyone do that and I'm missing something?

I've started using the Goldfaden MD Wake Up Call. It’s fine. MD may stand for "medical doctor", so, again, this is a product vaguely associated with medicine, which means it's good. I guess everyone else does go to their doctor for their beauty products. Am I doing this personal care stuff wrong? Should I have talked with my doctor about beauty boxes? Should I make an appointment every month when I get a beauty box so my doctor and I can look at the products together? What kind of nail polish would a doctor prescribe? I've prescribed purple fingernail polish for myself but what if I'm actually doing more harm than good?

Last week I used the Miracle Skin Transformer Face SPF 20 from the October box. This is tinted stuff to put on your face. It made me uncomfortable existentially. It makes you look like a plastic ghost. Yeah, I don't want blotches or spots or other dastardly things on my face but I don't want my skin to look uniformly one color. That's creepy. Noses aren't the same as cheeks, you know? I don't like this idea of "perfection" at all. I don't want to walk around looking all plastic perfect all day. And I don't want there to be a huge difference between my plastic daytime face and my clean nighttime face. I can't imagine anything more depressing. Yuck. I'm really kind of disturbed by this. That said, I suppose this Miracle Skin Transformer Face SPF 20 stuff does what it says it will do. I don't have any problems with the product, just with the concept.

I've also used the Colorescience Sunforgettable Face Primer SPF 30 from August - a similar concept to the Miracle Skin Transformer, but less total plastic and more ghosty. And ehh. I say ehh to both. I suppose some people will like these, and I suppose I also like them in a certain way. Some days you feel gross and blotchy and it's nice to have some kind of crap all over your face. I guess I'm just an idiot who doesn't know how to use foundation. Or primer. I don’t even know what the difference is.

FINGERNAIL POLISH SHOWDOWN

Julep nail polish is 4-free, which means there are four bad things that aren't in it. Butter nail polish is 3-free, which means there are three bad things that aren't in it. Four is one more than three, so Julep wins. The Julep polishes took an awful long time to dry, much longer than the Butter and LVX polishes, so Butter and LVX win there. I'm wearing the coral-pinky Butter polish today. If it weren't such an awful color it would be fine. "Butter" is a gross name for a beauty product company. Butter is butter, not beauty products. My number one nail polish is still the LVX purple nail polish. Late-breaking update: Oh god! I just found out that LVX nail polish is 5-free! It’s free of FIVE bad things! LVX! Huge winner! There isn’t even a contest here.

I guess I'm not getting another Julep box until the end of February. So confusing. I thought I'd get the intro box, and then the February box. Or the January box. Or whichever one they just sent out. I don't know what's going on.

Blush Mystery Beauty Box for Beauty Box Virgins

The Blush Mystery Beauty Box is making fancy pants KC into a fine fine Lady and improving her french. Not to mention her growing horde of luxious face creams and beauty products was making me envious so I parted with $19.95 ($5 discount on the first box) and subscribed to my first Blush Box.  I'm hoping to become a woman soon.

I received all the same items as KC except I received the KLORANE Mask with Desert Date instead of the Leave-In Cream which KC received.

The number cruncher in me likes to see what the retail value of all the products are so I've listed them below.  I googled every product and most of them are for sale at various sites including amazon.com

Osmosis Skincare Harmonized H20 for Digestive Health Full Size 3.38 oz $30
The label says it Normalizes Bowel Function - I'm scared to ingest this.  The ingredients on the label read: Distilled Water, Multiple Vibrational Frequency Blends.  So there is nothing in this product but water??  It tastes like water.  Smart marketing.  Sell 3.38 oz of water for $30.
Update! Thumbs down for marketing distilled water for $30. 

Klorane Mask with Desert Date Full Size 5 oz. $24 retail at drugstore.com
I'm super excited to try this on my hair since it's supposed to revitalize dry hair.  The packaging only lists European countries so it must be c'est magnifique.  It smells like a bakery.
Update! This product made my hair very silky and shiny.

Goldfaden MD Wake Up Call Sample .16oz $7.50
A full size 1.7 oz retails for $80 on Amazon.com so this stuff must be good.  It says it hydrates, restores and revives your skin while you sleep.
Update! Decent moisturizer.  It didn't do miracles liked it claimed but I'll use the entire sample.

Gytone Hydrating Eye Cream Full Size 15ml $30
You can never have too much eye cream.
 Update! Will use this product.

Jane Iredale Just Kissed Lip Plumper - Tokyo Tiny sample size $5
This color is something my Aunt would wear.  The only think I like about it is the name of the shade "Tokyo". I don't feel very Japanese wearing it.
Update! This isn't really my color plus it tasted like old lady lipstick.

Le Edge Exfoliator - $8.70 on amazon.com
As Seen on TV Product - Looks very cheesy
Update! Just like most as Seen on TV Products this didn't do anything.

Below are the bonuses I received

Dermstore Lip Quench $12
Fancy Chapstick - Do people pay full price for this stuff?

Sample of Ren Hydra-Calm Day Cream and Youth Complex Anti-Aging Cream.  One time use samples.

Total retail value $117.20!  Great steal for $19.95 and this box has brought so much happiness to my life. Video to be posted in a few days. Good value for this box since I love the hair mask and I will use the Eye Cream and Wake up Call.

I wrote this yesterday

BEAUTY BOX NEWS

In the Blush Mystery Beauty Box this month:

Le Edge razy thing: I used this in my new shower last night! I am exfoliated today? I am soft. This is so weird it might be great.

Osmosis Skincare Harmonized H2O for Digestive Health: You're supposed to take a few drops of this water with water and it will help your gut and your life. I have no idea what it will or won't do but after I tried it the first time I had to pee and then I had to pee again right away, and after I tried it the second time I got really really thirsty. Some of the people on the internet are pissed about this because apparently it's just distilled water. The people on the internet dispute the claims on the Osmosis website, but remember what I thought about that eyelash crap? And it turned out to actually work? So, you know.

Glytone Hydrate Eye Cream: Hooray! At this rate I'll never have to buy eye stuff because I'll just skate from sample to sample. This is full-sized.

Goldfaden MD Wake Up Call: What? This is stuff that you're supposed to put on your face at night. It does stuff to your face. Good stuff, hopefully.

Jane Iredale Just Kissed Lip Plumper: This is a very fancy teeny-tiny tube of lipstick. It's so tiny it's cute. It's so tiny that some people on the internet are mad. Why do ladies have to have "plump" lips? Isn't that kind of gross? When you look at this stuff you think it's too pink, but when you put it on, it's basically just lip-colored but a little darker. And pinker.

Klorane Leave-In Cream with Desert Date: This confused me so bad, 'desert date'? But a desert date is a date that grows in the desert, not the date you need to desert by. Genius. This is stuff to leave in your hair. Well, good, except that it stinks. But once it's dried it doesn't stink. It's nice I suppose, except that my hair is sticking up today. Which I cannot blame on this desert date crap.

Cetaphil cleanser and lotion samples: Okay.

This month's products were not as terribly fancy as previous months but my criteria for "fancy" is the packaging. While these products were packaged in a more plebeian fashion than previous products (gross!) it's the crap that's inside that's actually the important part. Again, Blush Mystery Beauty Box, A+++. Very exciting! What will come next month!

NEWS ABOUT MY FINGERNAILS

I am sorry to report that, despite these months of purple fingernail polish and incredible successes with the cessation of biting, my teeth cannot be trusted alone with a fingernail. On the plane out of Juneau they descended upon the middle finger on my left hand (their favorite one, for some reason) and bit the shit out of it. I was hoping I'd be able to wean myself off of the purple fingernail polish (because goddammit, purple fingernail polish?) but it seems that, at the moment, I cannot. And so we continue. New purple fingernail polish has been applied and my teeth have been punished.

NEWS ABOUT MY FACE

My chin, it's ruined. Something is wrong. Do you think it could be the fancy Chinese moisturizer? Shoot. I've started using the Coola moisturizer instead. I'll use it for a week and see if my chin returns to normal. If it does, we'll know that it's the Chinese stuff. Too bad, because that moisturizer is so fancy and nice.

Anticipation...waiting for that first box.

I'm a newbie to the subscription box world and have learned fascinating things like "unboxing" is the correct lingo for unveiling my box (future videos to come) and you can get a Pop Sugar Neiman Marcus box for $250.  Yes, $250 and you have no idea what is in the box.  The big appeal to me is your getting a higher "retail value" then what you paid and the surprise.  I've seen many facebook ads for Birch Box and Nature Box and I'm ready to jump in.  

I'm anxiously waiting for my first:

Birch Box $10 per month

Graze Box $5 per box ($1 for the first box with a discount code)

Blush Mystery Beauty Box $24.95 per month with subscription ($5 off with TRYBLUSH promotion code)

If you are interested use my subscription links above.  My Subscription Addiction has a great guide on subscription boxes. Why is this so appealing to me?  I love getting things in the mail (I'm sure amazon is losing money on my prime subscription), I'm a secret product whore (I'll go to M.A.C.   and Bare Mineral stores and buy loads of stuff because I like the packaging or the colors but never actually wear any of it or tell anyone about all the makeup I have)and I like surprises!

new news updates of little import

My Blush Mystery Beauty Box will get here after I've left for Alaska. :( The revealed item this month is basically a very dull razor that you drag over your body when you're in the shower. It won't shave off your hairs. It will exfoliate your body, your forehead, and the sides of your nose. This very dull razor will last for a year. I don't know why it wouldn't last longer - it's a piece of stainless steel that you rub on your skin. Probably it gets all gunked up with dead skin cells. Gross! Now I don't know for sure, but this item may be the answer to all my problems. Or it might not be. The person who was the... curator, or whatever, this month, is a plastic surgeon in Los Angeles. What other items do you think will be in the box! Hopefully something like... super nice tweezers, or a new kitten. I've cheated and read a review of a person complaining that there was a hair mask in it. I have hair and look forward to that.

And now, if you will, please indulge me while I talk about some previous beauty box products.

The Lisa Hoffman Madagascar Orchid Moisturizing Body Cleanse is amazing. It is made with magic and silk that will make you magically silky. It costs $30. Is a bottle of soap worth $30? No, that's ridiculous. But if you were a person who wanted to spend $30 on body wash, this would be the shit to buy. I do not receive any compensation for this review.

As you are well aware, I've been using the SmartLash Eyelash Enhancer, which you can get for either $125 or $30, depending on how controversial you want to be. I can't tell, is this doing anything? Maybe it's not fair to the SmartLash crap to have used the Lipocils Expert stuff before this. I don't even know. Did that stuff work? I can't tell. I have eyelashes, that's all I know at this point. I guess what I mean is, I kind of thought I could tell a difference with the Lipocils stuff, and I kind of can't tell any difference with the SmartLash stuff. But that's probably because my eyelashes are so amazing already, any improvement would cause earthquakes or similar.

The LVX fingernail polish remains a hardworking friend. My fingernails are long and strong like they've never been. This shit is for real, friends! Use and prosper.

I have been using the pūr~lisse pūr-protect Essential Daily Moisturizer for a few weeks and me gusta, hombre. My chin broke out mysteriously and grossly a few weeks ago but if it were from the moisturizer the rest of my face would have also broken out, so I think it's unrelated. This moisturizer has a silly name that only the cool kids know how to pronounce, and that's off-putting and obnoxious, but the product itself is lovely.

December Blush box

Beauty box came today! Here's everything you ever wanted to know about it:

Lisa Hoffman Beauty Madagascar Orchid Moisturizing Body Cleanse. There are about 10 more words in the official name of this product but you get the picture. This is very fancy stuff. You put it in the bath with you and it will nourish you.

Nailtiques Avocado Foot Crème. This is very fancy stuff pour les pieds. It has French on it so obviously it's very fancy. I haven't opened it to smell because I have so much foot crèmes pour mis pieds already. Foot crèmes coming out of mis orielles!

NYX Love in Paris eye shadow palette. At first I was like, uh, eye shadow? But now I'm like, eh, okay. This looks like high-quality stuff and I might as well own some eye shadow that's not blue, right?

REN Hydra-calm Global Protection Day Cream. GLOBAL protection! This is another tube of stuff for your face. It's got omegas and other oils and it's for sensitive skin, which is good because that's what I've got. This looks nice.

Neova Make-up Remover. Oh good, makeup remover, because now I've got all this makeup that will need to be removed.

Murad Advanced Active Radiance Serum. Oh good, active radiance serum.

NeoStrata Exfoliating Wash. Oh good, exfoliating wash. I'm not being sarcastic about that. I'm glad to have gotten this and will try it out.

Éminence Stone Crop Body Lotion. Guys, this is from that Hungarian company that sent the amazing strawberry exfoliating stuff a couple months ago! That stuff is fabulous! This is probably fine as well.

Sultra Clip-In Color Hair Extension in Ultra Pink. Okay. This is 100% premium Indian Remy Human Hair. Is this where the hair I've donated goes to? Oh my god. What? Why. Pink. Does anyone want this? Someone on the internet got cheetah-patterned. If I'd gotten a cheetah-print hair extension I would have... I don't know what I would have done, but I would have done something.

Cotz Face Sunscreen. This is a sample of face sunscreen, just a small sample.

SweetSpot Labs on-the-go wipettes. Guys! This might be the most exciting thing yet! This is a wipette for your hoohaw! It says it's a "luxury wipette to keep your sweet spot set." It says, "One wipette per use and toss. Smile all day." Smile all day? Hmm, why, SweetSpot? Also, why would I wipe my hoohaw? Wouldn't this be better served on the bum? Or is the bum the sweet spot? Is that what you're talking about? I can't tell. I'd just assume the sweet spot would be the hoohaw. If you mean bum, just say bum. I don't know what to do with this.

So that's it! Well done, Blush Mystery Beauty Box! So exciting! A+++ Oh god, what will come next month!!! Hooray!!! Thank you for reading this far.

I am becoming a real woman, and a real woman blogger

Guys, scandal surrounds this month's beauty box! They said in the tease video that the products would be worth over $250! $250? For $250 ANYTHING could be in there - a mini-fridge, or in-vitro fertilization, or one of those giant eyeshadow palettes with every shade imaginable! Oh god, so exciting!!!! But THEN someone finds out that one of the products that they're saying is worth $125 is something they sell for $30. $30? For $30 I could buy some used toilet paper! Fuck that shit, man! It's outrageous!

But I am not outraged. The beauty box is the only good thing in my life right now besides the puppy. I don't care about makeup or dollars, I'm just excited to get a fancy, fancy surprise on my doorstep every month.

Here's what's in the box this month:

Cargo High Pigment Pencil in Brown - Now that I am kind of a huge expert on makeup and other lady things, I can say that this eyeliner is the bombdiggity. It makes you look like a million bucks! I'm wearing it right now! A+++

Elizabeth Arden Beautiful Color Maximum Volume Mascara - People on the internet are pissed about this because it wasn't sealed. This brings the number of tubes of mascara that I own up to 3. Or 4. I am set for life, because I do not wear mascara. (However last night I did put on the Cargo eyeliner and some mascara and I looked like a fabulous and attractive gentlewoman, so maybe I will start wearing it on special occasions.)

Anastasia Beverly Hills Mini HydraFull Gloss in Sorbet - This is from Beverly Hills, guys! This is what the famous ladies wear when they go to Starbucks! This is a tiny, tiny bottle of hot pink lip gloss. People on the internet are pissed about this because it's so tiny. But shit, man, how much lip gloss do you wear at any given time? Not much. It's hot pink, but it doesn't make your lips hot pink, because it's gloss. It just makes your lips all shiny. (Helpful tip: if you're out riding a bike during the fall, don't wear lip gloss, because all the little bugs will get stuck to your lips and die. Gross.)

pūr~lisse pūr~protect SPF 30 Essential Daily Moisturizer - How the crap are you supposed to pronounce the name of this? This is some fancy $55 moisturizer. I'm sure it's great, but I won't get to try it for a few months because I have a whole bottle of that Coola moisturizer that I bought after getting a sample of it in my first beauty box. Or maybe I should use this first. Do you care? I'm sorry, you don't.

Nick Chavez Horsetail Root Lifting Spray - Horsetail? Root lifting? If there's anything I don't want my hair to do, it's lift. I'm sure this is a nice product, and I'll probably give this to my mom for her birthday, because she likes lift.

SmartLash Eyelash Enhancer - This is the thing people are most pissed about. It supposedly costs $125, even though you can get it for $30. I don't care what it's worth, myself. This is something that's supposed to enhance your eyelashes. I think that's creepy. A month or two ago they gave us a little bottle of something similar. I started using that but quickly forgot about it. I'll use up that bottle first, and then I'll use this. In a couple months I will have incredibly hairy eyes. Maybe I'll get into the National Enquirer.

Paula's Choice Resist Ultra-Light Super Antioxident Concentrate Serum - This is a little tube of stuff. I have other little tubes of stuff that I need to use before I use this one. God, these things are starting to come out of my ears.

Updates from previous months - I'm close to done with the Racinne Ultimate Youth Power stuff. It's fine. I don't know, maybe it did turn me into a powerful youth again. I was going to say it hadn't, but maybe it has. I like the Mirabella blush (it's something to wear in the evening! I've never had evening shit before!) and I like the Myface Cosmetics Lip Pop Gloss, even if it is super dark and even if I now have more lip gloss than dogs.

Fingernail polish: The reason it doesn't take other people decades to go through a bottle of nail polish is that you can only wear colored nail polish for a day or two before it gets all shitty and you have to remove it and repaint. The Butter nail polish that we got last month is an awful color but everyone else on the internet loves it. I prefer the purple LVX stuff from September. They are both awfully fancy and high quality. Even I can tell that.

I used the Alterna Caviar Anti-Aging dry shampoo a couple times but it didn't hide the fact that I needed to wash my hair. My hair may or may not seem more youthful because of it. I don't really know how to use dry shampoo.

That's it in beauty box news for now! Yesterday I accidentally spent hundreds of dollars on things so I have some really exciting deliveries coming. I bought a pink skirt!!!!! I need more shoes.

October Blush Mystery Beauty Box Review

Chella Highlighter Pencil – Honestly I have no idea how you're supposed to use this without looking like a cartoon outlined in white. But I will use it(?). When I remember that I have it. Which so far has only happened once.

Butter London Nail Lacquer Vernis - This is fancy coral pink fingernail polish that doesn't have bad stuff like formaldehyde or strychnine in it. I put it on my toes and it looks very bright, and actually kind of hideous. I now own about six bottles of fingernail polish, enough to last me the rest of my life.

Mirabella Mineral Highlighting Powder - This is fancy blush, pressed all ridgey and swirly and purdy. Fancy! I still have blush that I got from my friend's mom as a high school graduation present. With this addition I now have enough blush to last me the rest of my life.

Myface Cosmetics Lip Pop Gloss - The color I got is a dark brick red, and I was not pleased, until I put it on! It's nice. I am pleased. I now have enough lip color to last me the rest of my life.

Theraplex FT Exfoliating Emollient - Haven't opened. This can be used for keratosis pilaris, which I don't have. It can be used on the feet, too, but now I've got three (or more) fancy foot creams, which, again, will probably last me the rest of my life.

Miracle Skin Transformer Face - Haven't opened. This is tinted skin stuff. You guys! I only have one face, and it can only exist one day at a time! How will I use up all these products!

Talika Lipocils Expert - This is goop that you put on your eyelids. It says it will grow, darken, and curl your eyelashes. First of all, I doubt that's true at all, and second of all, disgusting! However I am using it, because I don't want to have another tube of stuff sitting in my bathroom forever. I'll let you know what happens with my eyelashes, which, as you will recall, I recently trimmed because they were too long and dumb. I am not successful at being a lady.

Karin Herzog Vitamin H Cream - What is this? I don't know. I'll tell you later.

Beauty Box Updates From Last Month

I have decided to use the brow gel because my eyebrows tend to become unruly in the fall. Yes, I read someone's comment online that said that, and I thought there was no way that could be true, but because of the power of suggestion I have decided I am experiencing the same phenomenon. I have also started using the Racinne Deluxe Travel Set - that little set is valued at 70 bucks! It's nice and I have become a youth again.

Guys. I've gotten these beauty boxes for three months now and I don't know how much longer I can take it. How the crap does anyone use all this stuff? I'm going to have to give things away. I'm still hugely happy with my beauty box subscription - it's the most exciting thing going on in my life besides the puppy coming upstairs now - and I recommend it to anyone who is bored or feeling sorry for themselves or has $25 a month to spend on things to fill up their bathroom. But I'm going to have to unsubscribe someday, I think. It's too much. Everyone will be getting random beauty products from me for Christmas.

lady highlights

One of the items in the October Blush Mystery Beauty Box will be a highlighter pencil in ivory lace! I'd never heard of a "highlighter pencil" before! I thought highlights were for hair, but no! It turns out you can highlight shit on your face. Like, you can put this stuff around your eyes and your nose and your eyebrows and your mouth and it will change you from an awful ugg-face into a lovely painted lady. I'm guessing that the potential for disaster here is very high.

I ordered a full-sized thing of that Coola moisturizer from Blush and I also got, for free, blue liquid eyeshadow! And Dremu Oil! Dremu Oil is emu oil mixed in with dreams, and it's very expensive. I got a large bottle of emu oil from the farm where I worked in Australia - I think she had me pay her $20AUD for it. (Is the D redundant when you have a $?) These Dremu people want $50US(D?) for half an ounce. They say it gets rid of age spots, stretch marks, acne, wrinkles, burns, bug bites, etc. etc. etc. It will regrow the hair on your head and make the hair on your upper lip go away, and it will help you sleep better and lose weight, and it will shave at least 20 minutes off your marathon time and 2 hours off your 50-mile time. Also if you use it long enough you'll be able to hover for 1 to 2 minutes per day, although you should wear protective gear if you're trying to go up stairs or anything like that because your hover abilities may fail without warning.