I'd like to be able to unsubscribe from Birchbox because I don't need it - the only reason I signed up was to be a brat because everyone on the internet hates it so much, but then it turns out I really genuinely don't hate Birchbox, and it's not even out of spite. It's a perfectly fine box. It's only ten bucks, and you get something to eat!
This month's Birchbox theme was Rainy Days. They included a little card with a random tip for surviving a rainy day. My tip was to go buy an umbrella. Thanks, Birchbox!
Here's what I got this month:
Harvey Prince Yogini perfume. This is a little sample of perfume but with a spray top! A spray top on a tiny little tube! The card says this is the "scent of liberation." Exclusively at harveyprince.com. They say to use the code "beautifulyou" for extra magic. Magic! You can buy magic on the internet at harveyprince.com! I hope those don't automagically turn into hyperlinks for you. You'll have to copy and paste that if you want to go there. I refuse to add hyperlinks, sorry.
Sumita Color Intense Pencil in Suman (black). I'm not much of a makeup person, so all I can say about this is that it's eyeliner. Eyeliner is eyeliner. This seems very eyeliney, so it seems fine to me. No French at all on the pencil. :(
Beauty Protector Protect & Detangle Leave-In Conditioner. This is a little bottle of stuff to put in your hair. It smells nice. I've used it once and it was quite nice. The bottle is rubber. The sprayer on the bottle doesn't work.
Color Club Gala's Gems Collection Breakfast at... This is a little bottle of pearly shimmery light green fingernail polish. It's cute, although the name is complicated. I'm getting a similar green color in my next Julep box - it will be interesting to compare.
KIND Healthy Grains Maple Pumpkin Seeds with Sea Salt. Food!
So AGAIN I won't be canceling Birchbox. Someday I will but I just can't find a reason to right now.
Fingernail plan for the weekend: Dark shimmery purple (Elle). I'm not sure how this will work out for a 5K - it seems more appropriate for something longer - but we'll see. The last three weekends for my races (all 5Ks) I wore: bright sparkly green (Tatum), sparkly mermaid teal (Marion), sparkly orange (Tatiana). As you may have guessed, the bright green and the orange worked out well, but the teal wasn't as fast as I would have liked.
Important note: If you're going to be wearing flashy fingernail polish, use a base coat. Crazy fingernail polish will stain your fingernails.
Friday, April 25, 2014
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
April Blush Mystery Beauty Box
Blush Mystery Beauty Box! I'd been tracking this baby for a week. It got to town last Tuesday! But it sat in the post office all day and all night until the next morning, when they finally put it into my PO box. (Pro-tip for the ladies: have your precious beauty boxes delivered to your PO box during the winter so all the fancy products don't freeze waiting for you to get home from your shitty, shitty desk job that doesn't pay well at all and why do you even work there? It's not worth it, your blood pressure has gone up, you should quit and find a nice job picking up trash in parks or something. But definitely get your beauty boxes delivered to the post office in the winter.) (But if you're ordering records, get those shipped to the PO box during the summer so they don't melt. And in the winter, so they don't shatter.) (Ordering stuff is an art.)
Blush Mystery Beauty Box! This month, we received only five items, but four are full-sized, so anyone complaining about that should calm down.
This month, again, was curated by a BOY. The featured item he picked out is the Love Lips Collection Duo Crayon by La Bella Donna. This is a two-sided lip pencil thingamabob. The colors are nice but I'm not good about using these things.
We also got a full-sized can of Oscar Blandi Pronto Invisible Volumizing Dry Shampoo Spray. Half the internet is pissed about this, because we've gotten dry shampoo before, and half the internet loves this. Now that I'm a lady who goes to the gym, I use dry shampoo often, so I'm excited about this product. "Oscar Blandi" sounds very fancy but I think the fanciness of this product would be enhanced if they'd change the color of this can. It's brown. Brown is the color of poo. They should make it silver, which is the color of fabulous.
We also got a big bottle of Jonathan Infinite Volume Shampoo. Again, half the internet is pissed about this, and half loves it. Shampoo! Volumizing! Again! Some people are mad that we've gotten Jonathan products before (have we? have I?). I'm mad because this is "for fine/thin hair", which I misinterpreted when I was younger to mean that it would make your hair fine and thin, which I wanted. Who wouldn't want something to be fine? Instead, "for fine/thin hair" means that it should be used on hair that is already fine. So confusing.
We got a bottle of Cult Cosmetics Nail Polish. Some people got a greenish color, I got a dark pink. I am not a lady who wears pink or red nail polish (yet) so I'll probably give this away.
We got a small tub of Darphin Stimulskin Plus Divine Multi-Corrective Cream, which is some ridiculously expensive face stuff. It calls itself "multi-corrective divine cream", which is quite silly but very fancy, I suppose.
And then Blush always sends some free extras. And I got two foily things, and then TWO OF THE ELIZABETH ARDEN PERFUME BOTTLES that we got a couple months ago. Two of them. The bottles are very fancy and cute but I already have one! I'll give these away. I don't understand why they gave me two. Were they confused? Was it someone who was like, "I don't even care, I hate this job, I'll give this stupid lady two bottles of perfume ah ha ha."?
Guys, someday, at some point, my relationship with the Blush Mystery Beauty Box must come to an end. You get to a point where you have plenty of personal care items sitting in your bathroom, and then the beauty boxes become less and less exciting, and then you take to the internet and start complaining. Maybe I need to take a break for a few months.
I hope they start sending toothpaste and deodorant, because I could use some of that.
Blush Mystery Beauty Box! This month, we received only five items, but four are full-sized, so anyone complaining about that should calm down.
This month, again, was curated by a BOY. The featured item he picked out is the Love Lips Collection Duo Crayon by La Bella Donna. This is a two-sided lip pencil thingamabob. The colors are nice but I'm not good about using these things.
We also got a full-sized can of Oscar Blandi Pronto Invisible Volumizing Dry Shampoo Spray. Half the internet is pissed about this, because we've gotten dry shampoo before, and half the internet loves this. Now that I'm a lady who goes to the gym, I use dry shampoo often, so I'm excited about this product. "Oscar Blandi" sounds very fancy but I think the fanciness of this product would be enhanced if they'd change the color of this can. It's brown. Brown is the color of poo. They should make it silver, which is the color of fabulous.
We also got a big bottle of Jonathan Infinite Volume Shampoo. Again, half the internet is pissed about this, and half loves it. Shampoo! Volumizing! Again! Some people are mad that we've gotten Jonathan products before (have we? have I?). I'm mad because this is "for fine/thin hair", which I misinterpreted when I was younger to mean that it would make your hair fine and thin, which I wanted. Who wouldn't want something to be fine? Instead, "for fine/thin hair" means that it should be used on hair that is already fine. So confusing.
We got a bottle of Cult Cosmetics Nail Polish. Some people got a greenish color, I got a dark pink. I am not a lady who wears pink or red nail polish (yet) so I'll probably give this away.
We got a small tub of Darphin Stimulskin Plus Divine Multi-Corrective Cream, which is some ridiculously expensive face stuff. It calls itself "multi-corrective divine cream", which is quite silly but very fancy, I suppose.
And then Blush always sends some free extras. And I got two foily things, and then TWO OF THE ELIZABETH ARDEN PERFUME BOTTLES that we got a couple months ago. Two of them. The bottles are very fancy and cute but I already have one! I'll give these away. I don't understand why they gave me two. Were they confused? Was it someone who was like, "I don't even care, I hate this job, I'll give this stupid lady two bottles of perfume ah ha ha."?
Guys, someday, at some point, my relationship with the Blush Mystery Beauty Box must come to an end. You get to a point where you have plenty of personal care items sitting in your bathroom, and then the beauty boxes become less and less exciting, and then you take to the internet and start complaining. Maybe I need to take a break for a few months.
I hope they start sending toothpaste and deodorant, because I could use some of that.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Very exciting updates on things
Oh man, Julep was on top of it this month - my April box got here on March 31! It was very exciting, even though I didn't particularly care for either of the colors I got: bluey-purpley iridescent and bright sparklish green. And peach blush. And they sent candy again!
Unfortunately, the bluey-purpley polish leaked into its lid a little. Not much, not a huge mess, but enough to make me feel sad and persecuted. But not enough to make me want to notify Julep about it.
I didn't think I would, but I actually like the bluey-purpley color. I refuse to post pictures, so you'll just have to imagine. The first coat is very light and if you can make it go on without being all streaky and dumb, one coat is really nice, a subtle barely-there iridescent pale blue. Two coats looks like poo, don't do that. For the finest results, you have to do three coats and a topcoat. (Someone on the internet was putting a white coat on the bottom and that looked nice. Who would have thought? Should I buy some opaque white polish in order to do that? Would Wite-Out work?)
I've decided to wear the bright green polish on race days because I think it will make me faster. I can't imagine wearing bright green fingernail polish at any other time. I will never, ever use this bottle up.
The blush is packaged very fancily, as are all Julep products. I'm sure it's nice but I haven't tried it and won't try it for another 50 years, not until I've used up all the other blushes I have.
The candy was delicious and is all gone.
OTHER EXCITING NEWS
I didn't think I would, but I actually like the bluey-purpley color. I refuse to post pictures, so you'll just have to imagine. The first coat is very light and if you can make it go on without being all streaky and dumb, one coat is really nice, a subtle barely-there iridescent pale blue. Two coats looks like poo, don't do that. For the finest results, you have to do three coats and a topcoat. (Someone on the internet was putting a white coat on the bottom and that looked nice. Who would have thought? Should I buy some opaque white polish in order to do that? Would Wite-Out work?)
I've decided to wear the bright green polish on race days because I think it will make me faster. I can't imagine wearing bright green fingernail polish at any other time. I will never, ever use this bottle up.
The blush is packaged very fancily, as are all Julep products. I'm sure it's nice but I haven't tried it and won't try it for another 50 years, not until I've used up all the other blushes I have.
The candy was delicious and is all gone.
OTHER EXCITING NEWS
The April Blush Mystery Beauty Box is on its way to me! I'm very excited about it, as usual, because Blush was the first beauty box I subscribed to and I am fiercely, doggedly loyal, even when my loyalty is undeserved, which it is not in the case of the Blush Mystery Beauty Box. Best mystery beauty box!
I decided to keep my Birchbox subscription for another month because I didn't dislike it soooo much last month. It was soooo okay. I don't know why everyone on the internet hates Birchbox so much. I believe I'll be getting something in this Birchbox that I got in the Blush box last month, but my face seems to like it so that's good. Blush wins! And Birchbox is fine.
Last week the internet was abuzz with talk of the ModCloth Stylish Surprise - ten bucks, a surprise. You could choose from shoes, clothing, or apartment fodder. Everyone was posting pictures of their clothing surprises, and I didn't like anything that anyone got, but I was overcome by it all and ordered one myself. I will probably get either a tenty shirt designed for an 18th century peasant or a short short dress that's so short I wouldn't even have worn it when I was 13. But who cares! It will be a stylish surprise!
It's so dumb, I told myself I wouldn't get sucked into this crap, but I ordered a Secret Surprise from Julep. I am a sucker for the words "mystery" and "surprise", it would seem. This needs to stop, guys. If you haven't yet gotten sucked into the world of beauty boxes, please try to resist. It does bring immeasurable joy, glamour, and fame, yes - but at what price? At what price???
Monday, March 31, 2014
April 2014 Julep Maven It Girl Box
Unboxing of the April 2014 Julep Maven It Girl Box. April is the Vivid collection.
First Box Free (pay only $3.99 shipping) at this link with code FREEBOX http://www.julep.com/rewardsref/index/refer/id/673877/
Maven madness is spreading at my office. We have four subscribers because Julep is AWESOME and contagious. In the video I'm wearing Malala,which is great for a professional office setting. Malala is a dusty pink mauve creme and is part of the Classic with a Twist collection. 100% of the proceeds from Malala benefits The Malala Fund.
Colors in the April It Girl Box
Bailey - Hyped Cobalt Sheer (It Girl)
Maren - Electric Bubblegum Sheer with Blue Sheen (It Girl)
Flora - Exotic Dragonfruit with Blue Shimmer (It Girl)
My birthday is in May and I'm considering upgrading to get all the May polishes. What am I going to do with all this nail polish you ask? Line it up in my bathroom into a nice display!!!
First Box Free (pay only $3.99 shipping) at this link with code FREEBOX http://www.julep.com/rewardsref/index/refer/id/673877/
Maven madness is spreading at my office. We have four subscribers because Julep is AWESOME and contagious. In the video I'm wearing Malala,which is great for a professional office setting. Malala is a dusty pink mauve creme and is part of the Classic with a Twist collection. 100% of the proceeds from Malala benefits The Malala Fund.
Colors in the April It Girl Box
Bailey - Hyped Cobalt Sheer (It Girl)
Maren - Electric Bubblegum Sheer with Blue Sheen (It Girl)
Flora - Exotic Dragonfruit with Blue Shimmer (It Girl)
My birthday is in May and I'm considering upgrading to get all the May polishes. What am I going to do with all this nail polish you ask? Line it up in my bathroom into a nice display!!!
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Julep Haul - Moral of the Story - Never pay full price for anything at Julep
I used my 50% Welcome to Julep to purchase quite a few items. It reduced the price of some nail polishes to $3.33 and $2.50 a bottle when ordered in sets.
My only issue with Julep is the wasteful packaging. Each bottle of nail polish comes in a tiny box.
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| My entire collection. |
Monday, March 24, 2014
Birchbox isn't so bad
One day I was at work and feeling particularly sorry for myself, so I decided to make myself feel better by signing up for Birchbox. Everyone on the internet hates Birchbox, so I was super excited about how much I was not going to hate it, just to be ornery. I was looking forward to this so much.
But then, my Birchbox box took forever and ever to get here. Birchbox has this cute little tracking thing that tells you when your box is born and cute stuff like that. My box was born in Tennessee and spent an unnecessary two weeks flitting around the midwest, stopping in places like Indiana and Missouri and Kansas. It took its sweet, sweet time getting here, clearly worrying about things other than getting to me. Sightseeing, going to the St. Louis Arch, stupid shit a beauty box really shouldn't be doing.
It finally got here today and I was so mad, I was planning to hate it so much. But then I opened it! It's not bad! There's nice little things in there! Here's what I got:
Gilchrist & Soames Body Lotion. In case you start thinking this hotel brand stuff isn't all that fancy, please note that there's French on it. It's not just body lotion, it's lotion pour le corps. And Gilchrist & Soames was EST. LONDON ENGLAND, so it's pretty posh, don't worry. I'll take this to work to use on mon corps or perhaps mes mains.
Supergoop! City Sunscreen Serum. This is an anti-aging UV damage repair complex that you put on your face. It will protect you while you are out in the city. No French on the tube but it's made in Australia and I find the lack of pomp refreshing, as I'm sure you do.
theBalm How 'Bout Them Apples? Cheek & Lip Cream. This is a tiny dot of pink stuff in a tiny magnetic book. I like this packaging quite a lot. When you open it up, there's a shirtless man in a cowboy hat to remind you why you're putting on this pink stuff. The color I got is called Pie.
Tea. One of the reasons everyone hates Birchbox is because of tea. Everyone on the internet hates tea. This month they sent three pouches of Mightly Leaf: Organic Earl Grey, Green Tea Tropical, and Chamomile Citrus. I'm okay with all of this.
The last item was in a fancy pouch. I opened it up and oh my god guess what came out (in addition to the thing that was supposed to be inside)?!!?? A little chocolate bar!!! I was surprised! I'm going to eat that chocolate bar so much tomorrow, oh man.
The thing in the pouch was a little pouch of Agave Healing Oil Oil Treatment, a.k.a. traitement a l'huile. They also talk to us in Spanish here. Now I can't be entirely sure but I kind of think I got this stuff in my last Blush Mystery Beauty Box. Did I? I don't actually know, but I think so, and I'm not going to get up and go into the bathroom to check. Please come back for my next entry when I update you on this.
But then, my Birchbox box took forever and ever to get here. Birchbox has this cute little tracking thing that tells you when your box is born and cute stuff like that. My box was born in Tennessee and spent an unnecessary two weeks flitting around the midwest, stopping in places like Indiana and Missouri and Kansas. It took its sweet, sweet time getting here, clearly worrying about things other than getting to me. Sightseeing, going to the St. Louis Arch, stupid shit a beauty box really shouldn't be doing.
It finally got here today and I was so mad, I was planning to hate it so much. But then I opened it! It's not bad! There's nice little things in there! Here's what I got:
Gilchrist & Soames Body Lotion. In case you start thinking this hotel brand stuff isn't all that fancy, please note that there's French on it. It's not just body lotion, it's lotion pour le corps. And Gilchrist & Soames was EST. LONDON ENGLAND, so it's pretty posh, don't worry. I'll take this to work to use on mon corps or perhaps mes mains.
Supergoop! City Sunscreen Serum. This is an anti-aging UV damage repair complex that you put on your face. It will protect you while you are out in the city. No French on the tube but it's made in Australia and I find the lack of pomp refreshing, as I'm sure you do.
theBalm How 'Bout Them Apples? Cheek & Lip Cream. This is a tiny dot of pink stuff in a tiny magnetic book. I like this packaging quite a lot. When you open it up, there's a shirtless man in a cowboy hat to remind you why you're putting on this pink stuff. The color I got is called Pie.
Tea. One of the reasons everyone hates Birchbox is because of tea. Everyone on the internet hates tea. This month they sent three pouches of Mightly Leaf: Organic Earl Grey, Green Tea Tropical, and Chamomile Citrus. I'm okay with all of this.
The last item was in a fancy pouch. I opened it up and oh my god guess what came out (in addition to the thing that was supposed to be inside)?!!?? A little chocolate bar!!! I was surprised! I'm going to eat that chocolate bar so much tomorrow, oh man.
The thing in the pouch was a little pouch of Agave Healing Oil Oil Treatment, a.k.a. traitement a l'huile. They also talk to us in Spanish here. Now I can't be entirely sure but I kind of think I got this stuff in my last Blush Mystery Beauty Box. Did I? I don't actually know, but I think so, and I'm not going to get up and go into the bathroom to check. Please come back for my next entry when I update you on this.
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Julep It Girl Welcome Box
Julep Maven $19.99 per month with Free Shipping
First Box Free at this Link with code FREEBOX, Only Pay Shipping $3.99
It Girls get three polishes every month
In the Welcome Box
- Libby - It Girl: Rich teal crème
- Elle - It Girl: Plum frost
- Bunny - It Girl: Crisp white linen with fine gold shimmer
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