May 2014 Blush Mystery Beauty Box

I can't really believe it's taken me until the end of the month to post about the Blush Mystery Beauty Box. There are a couple reasons, one being that I've been stupid busy with my stupidly stupid job, and the other being that I'm apparently a little underwhelmed by the Blush Mystery Beauty Box. It's not the Blush Mystery Beauty Box's fault, I think, but rather that you can only get beauty boxes for so long before you stop needing them and freaking out about them.

This month's theme was "Instant Refresher" which doesn't really mean anything but it's supposed to make you think nice things about it. Okay.

This month's featured curator is the CEO of Beauty Bus Foundation. Beauty Bus provides in-home beauty services for people who are sick. For every 10 Blush Mystery Beauty Boxes sold this month, Blush donated one box to Beauty Bus. That's nice. It is nice.

The curator's pick was the glo minerals Blush Duo in Bare/Hibiscus. It's full-sized but pretty small, which is fine, because no one wants to have blush last for two decades. I've been using this and it's fine.

We also got Bioxidea Miracle24 Hand Mask. This is from the same people who gave us the hockey face mask with diamond dust, which I used and which was fine, if slightly cold and hockeyish. I haven't used the hand mask yet because it hasn't fit into my fingernail plans for the month so far, but I will use it someday and I'm sure it will be nice.

We also got Oilless Oil by Peter Thomas Roth. It's moisturizer for your face and whatever else needs moisturizing. I've been using this at night and I quite like it. They make a big deal out of the process they use to make this - it's from sugar cane or whatever, and they do a lot of fancy stuff to it, apparently. This seems to work nicely, and my face and I like it.

They also sent pūr~lisse pūr-moist hydra-balance moisturizer. This is the cousin of the stuff that my chin apparently hated last fall and I'm scared to try this. Also goddammit, why does the name have to be so complicated? I'm inclined to dislike it pūr~ly because of the name.

And we got Laura Geller Beauty Cool Lids Cream Eyeshadow in Silver Sands. Silvery liquid eyeshadow. I don't wear eyeshadow but this is the bombdiggity, if you will. I really like this stuff. You just use a tiny, tiny dot, and suddenly you look very, very fancy. Me gusta, Laura Geller.

And the last item. Miracle Skin Transformer Face. They sent this exact thing in October. But the tube I got in October expires in a year and a half, and the tube they sent this month expired in March. This is super weird. Weird that they're sending something they've already sent, and weird that they're sending out expired products. I could have contacted them and gotten a replacement, but I don't want a replacement, so eh.

I really like three of the products that came this month, I will probably like one product, I'm scared to use one product, and one product is stupid. Overall this was a successful box for me, but I'm still feeling underwhelmed. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm on the internet and eventually everyone has to turn into a whiner. I still think the Blush Mystery Beauty Box is the best beauty box. It's nice that this month they donated products to the Beauty Bus Foundation. The blush, eyeshadow, and oilless oil are probably among the top products I've received and I'll continue to use them for all my livelong days. Bleh.

Maybe I'm cranky because I only liked one product last month.

Maybe I need to take a nap.

May 2014 Beauty Box five Unboxing Video

Beauty Box Five May 2014 - Fresh and Focused.

Beauty Box 5 is a subscription-based, beauty sampling service that delivers 5 deluxe samples and full-sized products right to your door every month.

This is the only beauty box I'm getting now.  I like it because it's the cheapest box out there.  This box is comparable to Birch Box or Ipsy Glam Bag.  I loved the IPSY Glam Bag because of the bag.  $99 for an annual subscription.  I only paid $79 for an annual subscription ($6.50 per box).

I got my money's worth this month with just the eyeliner and face mask.  I'm very excited to try cat eyes with this waterproof eyeliner.  The last few eyeliners and mascara I received from other beauty boxes were all natural but since they were not water proof it looked like I was crying all the time.  

Unboxing Video May 2014 Boho Glam Julep Maven Box

This is my last Maven box.  I cancelled after I received the the May box.  After spending $171.19 on nail polish in 3 months, I've finally quit, it's an addiction.  Yes, it was absolutely great fun and has provided me hours of entertainment.  I decided it was ridiculous to spend that much money on nail polish.  I'll have to give myself manicures every week to recoup my investment in Julep. - Miranda

April 2014 Birchbox: still not bad

I'd like to be able to unsubscribe from Birchbox because I don't need it - the only reason I signed up was to be a brat because everyone on the internet hates it so much, but then it turns out I really genuinely don't hate Birchbox, and it's not even out of spite. It's a perfectly fine box. It's only ten bucks, and you get something to eat!

This month's Birchbox theme was Rainy Days. They included a little card with a random tip for surviving a rainy day. My tip was to go buy an umbrella. Thanks, Birchbox!

Here's what I got this month:

Harvey Prince Yogini perfume. This is a little sample of perfume but with a spray top! A spray top on a tiny little tube! The card says this is the "scent of liberation." Exclusively at harveyprince.com. They say to use the code "beautifulyou" for extra magic. Magic! You can buy magic on the internet at harveyprince.com! I hope those don't automagically turn into hyperlinks for you. You'll have to copy and paste that if you want to go there. I refuse to add hyperlinks, sorry.

Sumita Color Intense Pencil in Suman (black). I'm not much of a makeup person, so all I can say about this is that it's eyeliner. Eyeliner is eyeliner. This seems very eyeliney, so it seems fine to me. No French at all on the pencil. :(

Beauty Protector Protect & Detangle Leave-In Conditioner. This is a little bottle of stuff to put in your hair. It smells nice. I've used it once and it was quite nice. The bottle is rubber. The sprayer on the bottle doesn't work.

Color Club Gala's Gems Collection Breakfast at... This is a little bottle of pearly shimmery light green fingernail polish. It's cute, although the name is complicated. I'm getting a similar green color in my next Julep box - it will be interesting to compare.

KIND Healthy Grains Maple Pumpkin Seeds with Sea Salt. Food!

So AGAIN I won't be canceling Birchbox. Someday I will but I just can't find a reason to right now.

Fingernail plan for the weekend: Dark shimmery purple (Elle). I'm not sure how this will work out for a 5K - it seems more appropriate for something longer - but we'll see. The last three weekends for my races (all 5Ks) I wore: bright sparkly green (Tatum), sparkly mermaid teal (Marion), sparkly orange (Tatiana). As you may have guessed, the bright green and the orange worked out well, but the teal wasn't as fast as I would have liked.

Important note: If you're going to be wearing flashy fingernail polish, use a base coat. Crazy fingernail polish will stain your fingernails.

April Blush Mystery Beauty Box

Blush Mystery Beauty Box! I'd been tracking this baby for a week. It got to town last Tuesday! But it sat in the post office all day and all night until the next morning, when they finally put it into my PO box. (Pro-tip for the ladies: have your precious beauty boxes delivered to your PO box during the winter so all the fancy products don't freeze waiting for you to get home from your shitty, shitty desk job that doesn't pay well at all and why do you even work there? It's not worth it, your blood pressure has gone up, you should quit and find a nice job picking up trash in parks or something. But definitely get your beauty boxes delivered to the post office in the winter.) (But if you're ordering records, get those shipped to the PO box during the summer so they don't melt. And in the winter, so they don't shatter.) (Ordering stuff is an art.)

Blush Mystery Beauty Box! This month, we received only five items, but four are full-sized, so anyone complaining about that should calm down.

This month, again, was curated by a BOY. The featured item he picked out is the Love Lips Collection Duo Crayon by La Bella Donna. This is a two-sided lip pencil thingamabob. The colors are nice but I'm not good about using these things.

We also got a full-sized can of Oscar Blandi Pronto Invisible Volumizing Dry Shampoo Spray. Half the internet is pissed about this, because we've gotten dry shampoo before, and half the internet loves this. Now that I'm a lady who goes to the gym, I use dry shampoo often, so I'm excited about this product. "Oscar Blandi" sounds very fancy but I think the fanciness of this product would be enhanced if they'd change the color of this can. It's brown. Brown is the color of poo. They should make it silver, which is the color of fabulous.

We also got a big bottle of Jonathan Infinite Volume Shampoo. Again, half the internet is pissed about this, and half loves it. Shampoo! Volumizing! Again! Some people are mad that we've gotten Jonathan products before (have we? have I?). I'm mad because this is "for fine/thin hair", which I misinterpreted when I was younger to mean that it would make your hair fine and thin, which I wanted. Who wouldn't want something to be fine? Instead, "for fine/thin hair" means that it should be used on hair that is already fine. So confusing.

We got a bottle of Cult Cosmetics Nail Polish. Some people got a greenish color, I got a dark pink. I am not a lady who wears pink or red nail polish (yet) so I'll probably give this away.

We got a small tub of Darphin Stimulskin Plus Divine Multi-Corrective Cream, which is some ridiculously expensive face stuff. It calls itself "multi-corrective divine cream", which is quite silly but very fancy, I suppose.

And then Blush always sends some free extras. And I got two foily things, and then TWO OF THE ELIZABETH ARDEN PERFUME BOTTLES that we got a couple months ago. Two of them. The bottles are very fancy and cute but I already have one! I'll give these away. I don't understand why they gave me two. Were they confused? Was it someone who was like, "I don't even care, I hate this job, I'll give this stupid lady two bottles of perfume ah ha ha."?

Guys, someday, at some point, my relationship with the Blush Mystery Beauty Box must come to an end. You get to a point where you have plenty of personal care items sitting in your bathroom, and then the beauty boxes become less and less exciting, and then you take to the internet and start complaining. Maybe I need to take a break for a few months.

I hope they start sending toothpaste and deodorant, because I could use some of that.

Very exciting updates on things

Oh man, Julep was on top of it this month - my April box got here on March 31! It was very exciting, even though I didn't particularly care for either of the colors I got: bluey-purpley iridescent and bright sparklish green. And peach blush. And they sent candy again!

Unfortunately, the bluey-purpley polish leaked into its lid a little. Not much, not a huge mess, but enough to make me feel sad and persecuted. But not enough to make me want to notify Julep about it.

I didn't think I would, but I actually like the bluey-purpley color. I refuse to post pictures, so you'll just have to imagine. The first coat is very light and if you can make it go on without being all streaky and dumb, one coat is really nice, a subtle barely-there iridescent pale blue. Two coats looks like poo, don't do that. For the finest results, you have to do three coats and a topcoat. (Someone on the internet was putting a white coat on the bottom and that looked nice. Who would have thought? Should I buy some opaque white polish in order to do that? Would Wite-Out work?)

I've decided to wear the bright green polish on race days because I think it will make me faster. I can't imagine wearing bright green fingernail polish at any other time. I will never, ever use this bottle up.

The blush is packaged very fancily, as are all Julep products. I'm sure it's nice but I haven't tried it and won't try it for another 50 years, not until I've used up all the other blushes I have.

The candy was delicious and is all gone.

OTHER EXCITING NEWS

The April Blush Mystery Beauty Box is on its way to me! I'm very excited about it, as usual, because Blush was the first beauty box I subscribed to and I am fiercely, doggedly loyal, even when my loyalty is undeserved, which it is not in the case of the Blush Mystery Beauty Box. Best mystery beauty box!

I decided to keep my Birchbox subscription for another month because I didn't dislike it soooo much last month. It was soooo okay. I don't know why everyone on the internet hates Birchbox so much. I believe I'll be getting something in this Birchbox that I got in the Blush box last month, but my face seems to like it so that's good. Blush wins! And Birchbox is fine.

Last week the internet was abuzz with talk of the ModCloth Stylish Surprise - ten bucks, a surprise. You could choose from shoes, clothing, or apartment fodder. Everyone was posting pictures of their clothing surprises, and I didn't like anything that anyone got, but I was overcome by it all and ordered one myself. I will probably get either a tenty shirt designed for an 18th century peasant or a short short dress that's so short I wouldn't even have worn it when I was 13. But who cares! It will be a stylish surprise!

It's so dumb, I told myself I wouldn't get sucked into this crap, but I ordered a Secret Surprise from Julep. I am a sucker for the words "mystery" and "surprise", it would seem. This needs to stop, guys. If you haven't yet gotten sucked into the world of beauty boxes, please try to resist. It does bring immeasurable joy, glamour, and fame, yes - but at what price? At what price???

April 2014 Julep Maven It Girl Box

Unboxing of the April 2014 Julep Maven It Girl Box.  April is the Vivid collection.

First Box Free (pay only $3.99 shipping) at this link with code FREEBOX http://www.julep.com/rewardsref/index/refer/id/673877/

Maven madness is spreading at my office.  We have four subscribers because Julep is AWESOME and contagious.  In the video I'm wearing Malala,which is great for a professional office setting.  Malala is a dusty pink mauve creme and is part of the Classic with a Twist collection.  100% of the proceeds from Malala benefits The Malala Fund.

Colors in the April It Girl Box
Bailey - Hyped Cobalt Sheer (It Girl)
Maren - Electric Bubblegum Sheer with Blue Sheen (It Girl)
Flora - Exotic Dragonfruit with Blue Shimmer (It Girl)

My birthday is in May and I'm considering upgrading to get all the May polishes.  What am I going to do with all this nail polish you ask?  Line it up in my bathroom into a nice display!!!