Monday, October 14, 2013

October Blush Mystery Beauty Box Review

Chella Highlighter Pencil – Honestly I have no idea how you're supposed to use this without looking like a cartoon outlined in white. But I will use it(?). When I remember that I have it. Which so far has only happened once.

Butter London Nail Lacquer Vernis - This is fancy coral pink fingernail polish that doesn't have bad stuff like formaldehyde or strychnine in it. I put it on my toes and it looks very bright, and actually kind of hideous. I now own about six bottles of fingernail polish, enough to last me the rest of my life.

Mirabella Mineral Highlighting Powder - This is fancy blush, pressed all ridgey and swirly and purdy. Fancy! I still have blush that I got from my friend's mom as a high school graduation present. With this addition I now have enough blush to last me the rest of my life.

Myface Cosmetics Lip Pop Gloss - The color I got is a dark brick red, and I was not pleased, until I put it on! It's nice. I am pleased. I now have enough lip color to last me the rest of my life.

Theraplex FT Exfoliating Emollient - Haven't opened. This can be used for keratosis pilaris, which I don't have. It can be used on the feet, too, but now I've got three (or more) fancy foot creams, which, again, will probably last me the rest of my life.

Miracle Skin Transformer Face - Haven't opened. This is tinted skin stuff. You guys! I only have one face, and it can only exist one day at a time! How will I use up all these products!

Talika Lipocils Expert - This is goop that you put on your eyelids. It says it will grow, darken, and curl your eyelashes. First of all, I doubt that's true at all, and second of all, disgusting! However I am using it, because I don't want to have another tube of stuff sitting in my bathroom forever. I'll let you know what happens with my eyelashes, which, as you will recall, I recently trimmed because they were too long and dumb. I am not successful at being a lady.

Karin Herzog Vitamin H Cream - What is this? I don't know. I'll tell you later.

Beauty Box Updates From Last Month

I have decided to use the brow gel because my eyebrows tend to become unruly in the fall. Yes, I read someone's comment online that said that, and I thought there was no way that could be true, but because of the power of suggestion I have decided I am experiencing the same phenomenon. I have also started using the Racinne Deluxe Travel Set - that little set is valued at 70 bucks! It's nice and I have become a youth again.

Guys. I've gotten these beauty boxes for three months now and I don't know how much longer I can take it. How the crap does anyone use all this stuff? I'm going to have to give things away. I'm still hugely happy with my beauty box subscription - it's the most exciting thing going on in my life besides the puppy coming upstairs now - and I recommend it to anyone who is bored or feeling sorry for themselves or has $25 a month to spend on things to fill up their bathroom. But I'm going to have to unsubscribe someday, I think. It's too much. Everyone will be getting random beauty products from me for Christmas.

Friday, October 4, 2013

lady highlights

One of the items in the October Blush Mystery Beauty Box will be a highlighter pencil in ivory lace! I'd never heard of a "highlighter pencil" before! I thought highlights were for hair, but no! It turns out you can highlight shit on your face. Like, you can put this stuff around your eyes and your nose and your eyebrows and your mouth and it will change you from an awful ugg-face into a lovely painted lady. I'm guessing that the potential for disaster here is very high.

I ordered a full-sized thing of that Coola moisturizer from Blush and I also got, for free, blue liquid eyeshadow! And Dremu Oil! Dremu Oil is emu oil mixed in with dreams, and it's very expensive. I got a large bottle of emu oil from the farm where I worked in Australia - I think she had me pay her $20AUD for it. (Is the D redundant when you have a $?) These Dremu people want $50US(D?) for half an ounce. They say it gets rid of age spots, stretch marks, acne, wrinkles, burns, bug bites, etc. etc. etc. It will regrow the hair on your head and make the hair on your upper lip go away, and it will help you sleep better and lose weight, and it will shave at least 20 minutes off your marathon time and 2 hours off your 50-mile time. Also if you use it long enough you'll be able to hover for 1 to 2 minutes per day, although you should wear protective gear if you're trying to go up stairs or anything like that because your hover abilities may fail without warning.