The Julep March Maven Reveal ends today! I just changed my box again! I decided I'm not a Modern Beauty. I switched to the Core Classics Box, which includes a cleanup tool, top coat, and oxygen nail treatment. The cleanup tool is this little thing that's supposed to clean under nails and fix polish mistakes. It's kind of like a jackknife but fancier, and for ladies. Hooray! I'm still adding on the cloudy clear polish and the light periwinkle polish. I'm not getting the lippy stuff. This is a fingernail subscription, who cares about lips right now, am I right? Right? Am I? I have a few more hours to change my mind again. Did I do the right thing? Maybe I should switch back! What if I chose the wrong thing!
I decided I wanted the cleanup tool because I put on the coral pinky Butter London polish over the weekend and there's no way to put it on without looking like a 5-year-old. Impossible. I even took it off and put it back on as carefully as possible, but it's still embarrassing. Somehow you can't stop it from leaking into your cuticles, and it's so bright that any mistake like that is quite blatant.
In contrast, the purple LVX polish goes on like a champ - no smudging, no weird cuticle leaks, no streaky bad spots. LVX nail polish makes you look like an elegant professional, a competent and graceful gentlewoman whose apartment is not a disaster, a put-together grown-up who gets up in the morning without hitting the snooze button five times. I really like the LVX stuff. I try to like the Butter London stuff but just haven't been able to.
Fingernails, man. It's so complicated.
Julep boxes start shipping on the 27th. They come from Seattle so it'll only take a couple days to get here. I am very excited for this box and in preparation am growing out my fingernails with all my might.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Julep March Mavel Reveal, and important updates
It's the 20th of the month! That means that the March Maven Reveal is open! For a few days during the Reveal you get to look at the products you'll get in your Julep Maven box, and if you don't like them you can switch to a different box. You can also add single products from other boxes, or you can add every single thing possible. All these things.
This month, the Julep Bombshell box contains: yellow fingernail polish, blue fingernail polish, and peachy lip gloss. Everything obviously has fancier names than that. But I decided to switch to the Modern Beauty box, which contains lip conditioning treatment and lip scrub (LIP SCRUB), and I added a light periwinkle nail polish and a cloudy clear nail polish. I think the cloudy clear stuff might help me ease back into the world of clear nail polish, which I currently cannot handle. Colored polishes help trick my teeth into thinking my fingernails are not fingernails. If my teeth can see the whites of my fingernails, they know that they're fingernails and cannot be stopped from biting them.
Who am I? Am I still a Bombshell? Am I a confident frill seeker with magnetic appeal? Do I still adore bold, glam colors and anything that sparkles? Modern Beauties are savvy tastemakers obsessed with the art and science of beauty. Is that me? I don't know. We'll see which box I choose next month.
UPDATES ON PREVIOUS BLUSH MYSTERY BEAUTY BOX PRODUCTS
A month or so ago I decided that, like a cat, I do not like to get wet. I experimented with taking waterless showers, but those experiments failed. Luckily I subscribe to the Blush Mystery Beauty Box! We've gotten dry shampoo twice, and we got that SweetSpot wipette for your sweet spot. With the Blush Mystery Beauty Box, I'll never have to get wet again! I've used the Klorane Dry Shampoo with Nettle a few times, and it's great! It works well, even after TRX. I don't know if other dry shampoos work like this or not, but this is quite good. If you need a dry shampoo, I do recommend this. I also still really like the Klorane Leave-In Cream. And Miranda likes the Klorane hair mask that she got. This blog gives Klorane four thumbs up.
I've used up the Osmosis Skincare Harmonized H20. Guys, I do not recommend this product. Since I started using this harmonized water, my shoulder started hurting, I discovered a gray hair right in the center of my hairline, and my house developed a mysterious drip. Beware.
I've put on the Elizabeth Arden UNTOLD parfum twice and was nearly asphyxiated both times. After you put this on, the smell becomes increasingly more powdery and intense. Unless you like cloying powderiness, I recommend using only one dot of this stuff, maybe just in your elbow pits. The problem here is that I don't like most perfumes. People who like perfume might like this perfume more than I do. I'm keeping this because the bottle is so fancy and cute.
NCLA Designer Nail Wraps. Only use these nail wraps for some fancy occasion, guys, because they scare people. I put them on over the weekend to try them out. I went to a coffee shop and as I was handing the barista my money she saw my horrifying fingernails and jumped. These are okay but not for everyday use.
I am STILL using the SmartLash Eyelash Enhancer from November. Whether it enhances your eyelashes or not, I don't know, but it sure lasts a long time. Man, how much longer can this bottle last. Definitely worth either $30 or $125, if that's how much you want to spend on stuff like this.
I recently had the opportunity to use the NYX Love in Paris eye shadow and the Mirabella Mineral Highlighting Powder when I went out for an evening. I also wore mascara. Nothing happened.
This month, the Julep Bombshell box contains: yellow fingernail polish, blue fingernail polish, and peachy lip gloss. Everything obviously has fancier names than that. But I decided to switch to the Modern Beauty box, which contains lip conditioning treatment and lip scrub (LIP SCRUB), and I added a light periwinkle nail polish and a cloudy clear nail polish. I think the cloudy clear stuff might help me ease back into the world of clear nail polish, which I currently cannot handle. Colored polishes help trick my teeth into thinking my fingernails are not fingernails. If my teeth can see the whites of my fingernails, they know that they're fingernails and cannot be stopped from biting them.
Who am I? Am I still a Bombshell? Am I a confident frill seeker with magnetic appeal? Do I still adore bold, glam colors and anything that sparkles? Modern Beauties are savvy tastemakers obsessed with the art and science of beauty. Is that me? I don't know. We'll see which box I choose next month.
UPDATES ON PREVIOUS BLUSH MYSTERY BEAUTY BOX PRODUCTS
A month or so ago I decided that, like a cat, I do not like to get wet. I experimented with taking waterless showers, but those experiments failed. Luckily I subscribe to the Blush Mystery Beauty Box! We've gotten dry shampoo twice, and we got that SweetSpot wipette for your sweet spot. With the Blush Mystery Beauty Box, I'll never have to get wet again! I've used the Klorane Dry Shampoo with Nettle a few times, and it's great! It works well, even after TRX. I don't know if other dry shampoos work like this or not, but this is quite good. If you need a dry shampoo, I do recommend this. I also still really like the Klorane Leave-In Cream. And Miranda likes the Klorane hair mask that she got. This blog gives Klorane four thumbs up.
I've used up the Osmosis Skincare Harmonized H20. Guys, I do not recommend this product. Since I started using this harmonized water, my shoulder started hurting, I discovered a gray hair right in the center of my hairline, and my house developed a mysterious drip. Beware.
I've put on the Elizabeth Arden UNTOLD parfum twice and was nearly asphyxiated both times. After you put this on, the smell becomes increasingly more powdery and intense. Unless you like cloying powderiness, I recommend using only one dot of this stuff, maybe just in your elbow pits. The problem here is that I don't like most perfumes. People who like perfume might like this perfume more than I do. I'm keeping this because the bottle is so fancy and cute.
NCLA Designer Nail Wraps. Only use these nail wraps for some fancy occasion, guys, because they scare people. I put them on over the weekend to try them out. I went to a coffee shop and as I was handing the barista my money she saw my horrifying fingernails and jumped. These are okay but not for everyday use.
I am STILL using the SmartLash Eyelash Enhancer from November. Whether it enhances your eyelashes or not, I don't know, but it sure lasts a long time. Man, how much longer can this bottle last. Definitely worth either $30 or $125, if that's how much you want to spend on stuff like this.
I recently had the opportunity to use the NYX Love in Paris eye shadow and the Mirabella Mineral Highlighting Powder when I went out for an evening. I also wore mascara. Nothing happened.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
I'm an Ipster. February 2014 Ipsy Glam Bag - The Look of Love
I just signed up for the IPSY glam bag. This one is also $10 per month and is the biggest competitor with Birch Box since the boxes are about the same size and same price. Every month you get a cute makeup bag with your subscription.
What I like about the bag is IPSY personalizes what items you receive through IPSY match where you answer questions about your beauty preferences.
February Glam Bag - Called the Look of Love $41 Retail Value
Thanks to my videowoman Erica!
Popbeauty - Pump Pout Mini - Size 4gs $10 Retail Value
Promised to plump up my lips to be more kissable!! Not my favorite.
Promised to plump up my lips to be more kissable!! Not my favorite.
Zoya Nail Polish - Full Size $9 Color Odette
This is super fast drying and I love the color. Usually when I paint my nails it looks like 8 year old painted my nails. Hopefully this is higher quality then the Wet N' Wild nail polish I used to buy as a kid. I'm actually very excited about this product!!
This is super fast drying and I love the color. Usually when I paint my nails it looks like 8 year old painted my nails. Hopefully this is higher quality then the Wet N' Wild nail polish I used to buy as a kid. I'm actually very excited about this product!!
City Color Be Matte Blush - 2.99 Retail Value
This Blush is Gigantic. It will last me years since I have a lot of blush. This color too pink for me.
This Blush is Gigantic. It will last me years since I have a lot of blush. This color too pink for me.
skyn Iceland Fresh Start Mask with Ice Age Mud - 2 Masks Retail for $12
10 minutes face treatment. Mini facial in one package
10 minutes face treatment. Mini facial in one package
J. Cat Eyelashes - Eyelashes + Glue Retail $3.99
I would never buy eyelashes for myself so it's fun that they came in the Glam Bag. I have the tiniest eye lashes and virtually none on my bottom lids. I'll try them at least one for fun. I like that the company has "Cat" in the name.
I would never buy eyelashes for myself so it's fun that they came in the Glam Bag. I have the tiniest eye lashes and virtually none on my bottom lids. I'll try them at least one for fun. I like that the company has "Cat" in the name.
Please use my referral link if you want to subscribe: http://www.ipsy.com/r/6d5c
Overall I'm very impressed with this bag for a mere $10. That's two drinks from Starbucks. I will use the nail polish and mask and give the rest away.
Friday, February 14, 2014
Unboxing Video - February 2014 Blush Mystery Beauty Box -
February 2014 Blush Mystery Beauty Box
$24.95 with a Subscription (Cancel anytime) - $120 Retail Value this Month (9 Items and 2 samples)
Bioxidea Miracle 48 Mask - Featured Item this month $25 Retail (I Got Gold, Kelsi had Diamond)
Klorane Dry Shampoo with Nettle - Full Size 150ml $19.50 (Yeah I can stop showering)
DHC Deep Cleansing Oil - 1 oz Travel Size $5 (Hopefully more moisturizing then face wash)
vbeaute Rub off Gentle Facial Exfoliater .50 Oz $18 (Not that excited)
Elizabeth Arden Untold Parfum - 5ml $5 Cute mini bottle, smells like all parfum
NYX Are You DeprEYEved Mascara Full Size 8ml $13 (Better than tea dyed mascara)
NCLA Designers Nail Wraps Full Size $16 (really want to use these)
Jonathan Product High Shine Control Hair Spray Full Size 10 Ounces $18.49 (Bonus Item)
Different Bonus Item then the one Kelsi received
Sample of Ren Hyrda-Calm Global Protection Cream
Sample of Jonathan Styling Creme (Would be excited to get a full size)
Please see Kelsi's post for details on each product.
Blush Mystery Beauty Box is the best.
http://beautyboxer.blogspot.com/2014/02/february-blush-mystery-beauty-box.html
P.S. I already cancelled by BirchBox Subscription but I'm waiting for my first Ipsy GlamBag and I have an annual subscription to Beauty Box 5.
$24.95 with a Subscription (Cancel anytime) - $120 Retail Value this Month (9 Items and 2 samples)
Bioxidea Miracle 48 Mask - Featured Item this month $25 Retail (I Got Gold, Kelsi had Diamond)
Klorane Dry Shampoo with Nettle - Full Size 150ml $19.50 (Yeah I can stop showering)
DHC Deep Cleansing Oil - 1 oz Travel Size $5 (Hopefully more moisturizing then face wash)
vbeaute Rub off Gentle Facial Exfoliater .50 Oz $18 (Not that excited)
Elizabeth Arden Untold Parfum - 5ml $5 Cute mini bottle, smells like all parfum
NYX Are You DeprEYEved Mascara Full Size 8ml $13 (Better than tea dyed mascara)
NCLA Designers Nail Wraps Full Size $16 (really want to use these)
Jonathan Product High Shine Control Hair Spray Full Size 10 Ounces $18.49 (Bonus Item)
Different Bonus Item then the one Kelsi received
Sample of Ren Hyrda-Calm Global Protection Cream
Sample of Jonathan Styling Creme (Would be excited to get a full size)
Please see Kelsi's post for details on each product.
Blush Mystery Beauty Box is the best.
http://beautyboxer.blogspot.com/2014/02/february-blush-mystery-beauty-box.html
P.S. I already cancelled by BirchBox Subscription but I'm waiting for my first Ipsy GlamBag and I have an annual subscription to Beauty Box 5.
Seriously, this is a lot of beauty stuff for $24.99.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
February Blush Mystery Beauty Box
Shortly after my last post in which I bemoaned perceived miscarriages of justice perpetuated upon me by my most favorite beauty box in the world, Blush Mystery Beauty Box, it was brought to my attention that other people had experienced the same things I had and Blush was not, in fact, targeting me for mistreatment and abuse. So that's good news. And now the great news!!!...
My February Blush Mystery Beauty Box arrived yesterday! Here's what's in it:
Klorane Dry Shampoo with Nettle: If you are a dingbat like me who doesn't know how to use dry shampoo, you can go to the Klorane website to watch videos on how to use dry shampoo either with a hair dryer or without a hair dryer. (With a hair dryer: spray dry shampoo on hair, use hair dryer. Without a hair dryer: spray dry shampoo on hair, don't use hair dryer.) I'm doing a TRX class at noon a couple days a week and I just go back to work afterwards all sweaty and horrendous. It would behoove me professionally and personally to try to do some hygienic maintenance before returning to work, and maybe this dry shampoo will help in that regard.
DHC Deep Cleansing Oil: Everyone on the internet is excited about this. It's oil for washing your face. I've never used cleansing oil and I suppose it's time I gave it a try.
NYX Are You DeprEYEved of... Long and Full Lashes Mascara - Jet Black: This is the second tube of mascara I've gotten from Blush, and I still have two tubes that I got from my sister for Christmas a few years ago. What are you trying to tell me, Lord? You want me to start wearing mascara? Fine! I will. On the box, NYX asks if I am deprEYEved of things. No, NYX, EYE'm not deprEYEved, but thanks for taking the tEYEme to ask. EYE think this is a cute way to wrEYEte words that have a long EYE sound. Am EYE rEYEght, gEYEs? GEYEs?
BIOXIDEA Miracle 48 Excellence Diamond Face & Body Treatment: This masky mask has diamond powder in it which will make your face all sparkly. I'm assuming this effect is lost if you use this at night and then go to bed. I envision that this mask is supposed to be used by fine ladies who get out of bed at 1 in the afternoon, then take a bath and use this face mask, and then go out to dinner parties and smoke cigarettes with long holders. Etc. As I may likely be unemployed soon (NOT because I'm all stinky after TRX, but for other reasons) (reasons not related to me or my person), I am looking forward to leading such a life, and so this is a very timely product for me. Thanks, Blush!
Elizabeth Arden UNTOLD Eau de Parfum: This is a tiny fancy bottle of parfum. This is fancy on two levels - fancy on the box, which has gold leafing, and fancy in the little container, which is all prismy. I mean it's fancy on three levels, because, as parfum rather than perfume, it is also linguistically fancy. Fancy! This is described as a "fresh yet sultry fragrance inspired by the complexity and sensuality of the modern woman." Do you suppose that if you wear this it will make you more complex, sensual, and modern, or do you think you already have to be those things in order to wear it? The instructions lead me nowhere with this question.
VBEAUTE Rub Off Gentle Facial Exfoliator: Hey, if you use all these exfoliators will you eventually disappear? Is exfoliation a good way to lose weight? How much exfoliation is too much exfoliation?
NCLA Designer Nail Wraps - Pizzo: These are stickers for your fingernails! Ain't no way my teeth are getting through these things! You put them on, et voilà, your fingernails turn into tapestries! Good thing I've got these honking fingernails now. Wow. NCLA Designer Nail Wraps come to us from California. The LA in NCLA is for Los Angeles, and the NC is for Nail Crap.
And here are the extra samples that Blush sent me:
Vichy Laboratoires Eau Thermal (Thermal Spa Water): After we got a bottle of fancy water for our guts last month, I thought this might be a similar thing. It's water, in a can. It has a spray top. Do you spray this on your tongue or something? No. Our most mysterious contributor to this blog, the one known only as auntsi, told me that you spray it on your face. It's Vichy! Vichy is a spa and resort town in France! This is fancy French water, in a can!
AFA Amino Acid Skin Care Exfoliating Gel - Mild: Again with the exfoliation. Pretty soon there will be nothing left of me.
REN Hydra-Calm Global Protection Day Cream: This is a little packet of moisturizer. They sent us a half-ounce bottle of this a couple months ago. I've started using it and I like it. It's got a strong smell that I don't like, but it seems like a good moisturizer for winter. So far it hasn't caused my chin to turn into a bad place like the Chinese stuff did. God, that still makes me cry. That moisturizer was so fancy and amazing, but my chin hated it so much. Life can be so confusing and heartbreaking.
Some other lady on the internet got a giant bottle of hair spray as one of her free samples. A giant bottle of hair spray! It's okay that I didn't get that, I got eau instead and I'm not even sure her hair spray was French. In fact I think it wasn't, so I win.
Hooray! Best beauty box ever, Blush Mystery Beauty Box, A+++! I love this! What will come next month! Will they get the shipping problems fixed? Will they finally send us something for our ears? Oh man! Luckily February is a short month! We only have three more weeks of waiting.
My February Blush Mystery Beauty Box arrived yesterday! Here's what's in it:
Klorane Dry Shampoo with Nettle: If you are a dingbat like me who doesn't know how to use dry shampoo, you can go to the Klorane website to watch videos on how to use dry shampoo either with a hair dryer or without a hair dryer. (With a hair dryer: spray dry shampoo on hair, use hair dryer. Without a hair dryer: spray dry shampoo on hair, don't use hair dryer.) I'm doing a TRX class at noon a couple days a week and I just go back to work afterwards all sweaty and horrendous. It would behoove me professionally and personally to try to do some hygienic maintenance before returning to work, and maybe this dry shampoo will help in that regard.
DHC Deep Cleansing Oil: Everyone on the internet is excited about this. It's oil for washing your face. I've never used cleansing oil and I suppose it's time I gave it a try.
NYX Are You DeprEYEved of... Long and Full Lashes Mascara - Jet Black: This is the second tube of mascara I've gotten from Blush, and I still have two tubes that I got from my sister for Christmas a few years ago. What are you trying to tell me, Lord? You want me to start wearing mascara? Fine! I will. On the box, NYX asks if I am deprEYEved of things. No, NYX, EYE'm not deprEYEved, but thanks for taking the tEYEme to ask. EYE think this is a cute way to wrEYEte words that have a long EYE sound. Am EYE rEYEght, gEYEs? GEYEs?
BIOXIDEA Miracle 48 Excellence Diamond Face & Body Treatment: This masky mask has diamond powder in it which will make your face all sparkly. I'm assuming this effect is lost if you use this at night and then go to bed. I envision that this mask is supposed to be used by fine ladies who get out of bed at 1 in the afternoon, then take a bath and use this face mask, and then go out to dinner parties and smoke cigarettes with long holders. Etc. As I may likely be unemployed soon (NOT because I'm all stinky after TRX, but for other reasons) (reasons not related to me or my person), I am looking forward to leading such a life, and so this is a very timely product for me. Thanks, Blush!
Elizabeth Arden UNTOLD Eau de Parfum: This is a tiny fancy bottle of parfum. This is fancy on two levels - fancy on the box, which has gold leafing, and fancy in the little container, which is all prismy. I mean it's fancy on three levels, because, as parfum rather than perfume, it is also linguistically fancy. Fancy! This is described as a "fresh yet sultry fragrance inspired by the complexity and sensuality of the modern woman." Do you suppose that if you wear this it will make you more complex, sensual, and modern, or do you think you already have to be those things in order to wear it? The instructions lead me nowhere with this question.
VBEAUTE Rub Off Gentle Facial Exfoliator: Hey, if you use all these exfoliators will you eventually disappear? Is exfoliation a good way to lose weight? How much exfoliation is too much exfoliation?
NCLA Designer Nail Wraps - Pizzo: These are stickers for your fingernails! Ain't no way my teeth are getting through these things! You put them on, et voilà, your fingernails turn into tapestries! Good thing I've got these honking fingernails now. Wow. NCLA Designer Nail Wraps come to us from California. The LA in NCLA is for Los Angeles, and the NC is for Nail Crap.
And here are the extra samples that Blush sent me:
Vichy Laboratoires Eau Thermal (Thermal Spa Water): After we got a bottle of fancy water for our guts last month, I thought this might be a similar thing. It's water, in a can. It has a spray top. Do you spray this on your tongue or something? No. Our most mysterious contributor to this blog, the one known only as auntsi, told me that you spray it on your face. It's Vichy! Vichy is a spa and resort town in France! This is fancy French water, in a can!
AFA Amino Acid Skin Care Exfoliating Gel - Mild: Again with the exfoliation. Pretty soon there will be nothing left of me.
REN Hydra-Calm Global Protection Day Cream: This is a little packet of moisturizer. They sent us a half-ounce bottle of this a couple months ago. I've started using it and I like it. It's got a strong smell that I don't like, but it seems like a good moisturizer for winter. So far it hasn't caused my chin to turn into a bad place like the Chinese stuff did. God, that still makes me cry. That moisturizer was so fancy and amazing, but my chin hated it so much. Life can be so confusing and heartbreaking.
Some other lady on the internet got a giant bottle of hair spray as one of her free samples. A giant bottle of hair spray! It's okay that I didn't get that, I got eau instead and I'm not even sure her hair spray was French. In fact I think it wasn't, so I win.
Hooray! Best beauty box ever, Blush Mystery Beauty Box, A+++! I love this! What will come next month! Will they get the shipping problems fixed? Will they finally send us something for our ears? Oh man! Luckily February is a short month! We only have three more weeks of waiting.
Monday, February 10, 2014
Beauty Box Problems
- Blush never sent me an email with the video about the Blush Mystery Beauty Box featured product this month! I had to go sleuthing around the internet myself to find out about it!
- It's February 10th. I usually get my box around the 10th, but so far this month I haven't even gotten an email saying my box has shipped! And Miranda got her shipping notification last week! According to my usps tracking code (which I had to retrieve myself by logging into my Blush account) only electronic shipping info has been provided. My box isn't even on its way yet! What the fuck, Blush? I'm your biggest fan! What's with this treatment? Blush! I love you so much! How could you treat me like this!
- I cannot resist so I've gone around the internet to find out what other people have gotten in their February Blush Mystery Beauty Box. It looks amazing! Such fancy products! I can't wait! When will my box even get here. If it ever even gets here. :(
- Blush sent out a survey! (I did get that email.) They want to know if we want more skin care, hair care, or makeup. They want to know if we want to create "beauty profiles" so our boxes can be personalized. They want to know if we want to know all the products in the box beforehand. I'm worried because I think they've been reading all the online whining. People whine about everything, and here's why: because they're subscribed to too many boxes. Someone on the internet said she was behind in writing reviews for 27 boxes. 27. That's way too many! No wonder she hates everything.
- It has been brought to my attention that "Blush Box" and "Blush Mystery Beauty Box" are two different things. You may google this yourself. Because a fine lady does not talk about all the sex boxes she is subscribed to, you will have to decide for yourself which box I have been referring to in previous posts.
- Yeah, no new Julep box until the end of this month. I thought I'd have these things coming out of my ears. Instead I sit here alone and empty. I guess I'll go paint my fingernails gold now. :(
Thursday, February 6, 2014
January Blush Mystery Beauty Box UnBoxing Video
January Blush Mystery Beauty Box
$24.95 Per Month with Subscription 6-8 full size and sample size beauty items.
Miranda's January Review
Kelsi's January Review
February Box will be out next week!
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
February Blush revealed item, and important updates
You guys! Oh my god! Finally Blush has unveiled the revealed item for the February box. I've been waiting for this forever!
This month's revealed item is: a freaky-looking mask. Do you like Phantom of the Opera? Well you're in luck, because with this month's Blush Mystery Beauty Box, you can BE the phantom! This is a face mask, but with an actual mask. Okay.
What else do you think will be in the box!!! Here's what I'm hoping for:
I've really put the Osmosis Skincare Harmonized H20 for Digestive Health to the test by eating a lot of burritos lately. Has the harmonized water normalized my bowel functions? That is a question to which you will never know the answer, because a fine lady does not discuss her bowel functions with strangers on the internet. Did you know that the Osmosis Skincare company makes harmonized water for a wide variety of functions? They have one that will increase the SPF of your skin so you don’t have to wear sunblock anymore. Wow! I really hope they're working on one that will make you glow in the dark - that would be very useful for runners in the winter.
I can't explain it but I really like the Le Edge razy thing. Someone on the internet said they like it because they have sensitive skin that reacts to most exfoliants. The Le Edge razy thing probably won't irritate your skin because it's a piece of stainless steel. Also it won't make your shower all scummy like some sugar scrubs and other exfoliants. I just like this thing, okay? Miranda doesn’t, but I think we can all agree that she doesn't know anything.
I like the Klorane Leave-In Cream even though when it's wet it smells like a man's cologne from the '70s. When it's dry it doesn't smell like anything. It makes my hair very soft and very good. This is a large bottle. It will last years.
I used up all of the Murad Advanced Active Radiance Serum. It was fine. I don't know if it did anything. Sometimes, some of these things, as long as they don't irritate your skin they're good. I don't know if anything actually ever does anything great for me. I still look the same. But maybe slightly more radiant, I don’t know.
The Glytone Hydrate Eye Cream is fine. It would be so much fancier if it were a crème rather than a cream, though. This tube will last a long time. On the package it says it's "exclusive to physicians", which doesn't make any sense to me at all. Does anyone go to their physician for help in picking out an eye cream? Or does everyone do that and I'm missing something?
I've started using the Goldfaden MD Wake Up Call. It’s fine. MD may stand for "medical doctor", so, again, this is a product vaguely associated with medicine, which means it's good. I guess everyone else does go to their doctor for their beauty products. Am I doing this personal care stuff wrong? Should I have talked with my doctor about beauty boxes? Should I make an appointment every month when I get a beauty box so my doctor and I can look at the products together? What kind of nail polish would a doctor prescribe? I've prescribed purple fingernail polish for myself but what if I'm actually doing more harm than good?
Last week I used the Miracle Skin Transformer Face SPF 20 from the October box. This is tinted stuff to put on your face. It made me uncomfortable existentially. It makes you look like a plastic ghost. Yeah, I don't want blotches or spots or other dastardly things on my face but I don't want my skin to look uniformly one color. That's creepy. Noses aren't the same as cheeks, you know? I don't like this idea of "perfection" at all. I don't want to walk around looking all plastic perfect all day. And I don't want there to be a huge difference between my plastic daytime face and my clean nighttime face. I can't imagine anything more depressing. Yuck. I'm really kind of disturbed by this. That said, I suppose this Miracle Skin Transformer Face SPF 20 stuff does what it says it will do. I don't have any problems with the product, just with the concept.
I've also used the Colorescience Sunforgettable Face Primer SPF 30 from August - a similar concept to the Miracle Skin Transformer, but less total plastic and more ghosty. And ehh. I say ehh to both. I suppose some people will like these, and I suppose I also like them in a certain way. Some days you feel gross and blotchy and it's nice to have some kind of crap all over your face. I guess I'm just an idiot who doesn't know how to use foundation. Or primer. I don’t even know what the difference is.
FINGERNAIL POLISH SHOWDOWN
Julep nail polish is 4-free, which means there are four bad things that aren't in it. Butter nail polish is 3-free, which means there are three bad things that aren't in it. Four is one more than three, so Julep wins. The Julep polishes took an awful long time to dry, much longer than the Butter and LVX polishes, so Butter and LVX win there. I'm wearing the coral-pinky Butter polish today. If it weren't such an awful color it would be fine. "Butter" is a gross name for a beauty product company. Butter is butter, not beauty products. My number one nail polish is still the LVX purple nail polish. Late-breaking update: Oh god! I just found out that LVX nail polish is 5-free! It’s free of FIVE bad things! LVX! Huge winner! There isn’t even a contest here.
I guess I'm not getting another Julep box until the end of February. So confusing. I thought I'd get the intro box, and then the February box. Or the January box. Or whichever one they just sent out. I don't know what's going on.
This month's revealed item is: a freaky-looking mask. Do you like Phantom of the Opera? Well you're in luck, because with this month's Blush Mystery Beauty Box, you can BE the phantom! This is a face mask, but with an actual mask. Okay.
What else do you think will be in the box!!! Here's what I'm hoping for:
- Something for ears. So far I've gotten nothing for my ears. My ears exist too! Why aren't there any lotions or scrubs or masks for your ears? Are you supposed to use face stuff on ears? They make separate stuff for necks and chests and feet, but not ears? No way! Come on, beauty industry.
- Toothpaste, because somehow I lost mine. I hope we get toothpaste that's strong enough for the teeth of a man but pH-balanced for the teeth of a woman.
- Fingernail clippers. The best thing for keeping your fingernails short is teeth, but when you can't use those because of physician-strength fingernail polish, you'll need very sharp fingernail clippers.
- Pink toilet paper, because ladies shouldn't have to always use white toilet paper.
- Deodorant. I've been using this one kind and I'm not sure it works. I mean, it doesn't work.
- Implements, for implementing stuff.
- Record player. I think I might want to have a record player at work.
- New bike. A fine lady can never have too many bikes.
- The Who Live at the Royal Albert Hall DVD. This is really good. I don't care if you don't like The Who.
- Hair spray. I have a small travel-sized bottle of hair spray but the sprayer doesn't work anymore. It's not clogged, it just doesn't work anymore. I use hair spray twice a year and one of those instances could pop up at any time and some fancy hair spray would please me.
- Protein powder, for all of our weight-lifting needs.
I've really put the Osmosis Skincare Harmonized H20 for Digestive Health to the test by eating a lot of burritos lately. Has the harmonized water normalized my bowel functions? That is a question to which you will never know the answer, because a fine lady does not discuss her bowel functions with strangers on the internet. Did you know that the Osmosis Skincare company makes harmonized water for a wide variety of functions? They have one that will increase the SPF of your skin so you don’t have to wear sunblock anymore. Wow! I really hope they're working on one that will make you glow in the dark - that would be very useful for runners in the winter.
I can't explain it but I really like the Le Edge razy thing. Someone on the internet said they like it because they have sensitive skin that reacts to most exfoliants. The Le Edge razy thing probably won't irritate your skin because it's a piece of stainless steel. Also it won't make your shower all scummy like some sugar scrubs and other exfoliants. I just like this thing, okay? Miranda doesn’t, but I think we can all agree that she doesn't know anything.
I like the Klorane Leave-In Cream even though when it's wet it smells like a man's cologne from the '70s. When it's dry it doesn't smell like anything. It makes my hair very soft and very good. This is a large bottle. It will last years.
I used up all of the Murad Advanced Active Radiance Serum. It was fine. I don't know if it did anything. Sometimes, some of these things, as long as they don't irritate your skin they're good. I don't know if anything actually ever does anything great for me. I still look the same. But maybe slightly more radiant, I don’t know.
The Glytone Hydrate Eye Cream is fine. It would be so much fancier if it were a crème rather than a cream, though. This tube will last a long time. On the package it says it's "exclusive to physicians", which doesn't make any sense to me at all. Does anyone go to their physician for help in picking out an eye cream? Or does everyone do that and I'm missing something?
I've started using the Goldfaden MD Wake Up Call. It’s fine. MD may stand for "medical doctor", so, again, this is a product vaguely associated with medicine, which means it's good. I guess everyone else does go to their doctor for their beauty products. Am I doing this personal care stuff wrong? Should I have talked with my doctor about beauty boxes? Should I make an appointment every month when I get a beauty box so my doctor and I can look at the products together? What kind of nail polish would a doctor prescribe? I've prescribed purple fingernail polish for myself but what if I'm actually doing more harm than good?
Last week I used the Miracle Skin Transformer Face SPF 20 from the October box. This is tinted stuff to put on your face. It made me uncomfortable existentially. It makes you look like a plastic ghost. Yeah, I don't want blotches or spots or other dastardly things on my face but I don't want my skin to look uniformly one color. That's creepy. Noses aren't the same as cheeks, you know? I don't like this idea of "perfection" at all. I don't want to walk around looking all plastic perfect all day. And I don't want there to be a huge difference between my plastic daytime face and my clean nighttime face. I can't imagine anything more depressing. Yuck. I'm really kind of disturbed by this. That said, I suppose this Miracle Skin Transformer Face SPF 20 stuff does what it says it will do. I don't have any problems with the product, just with the concept.
I've also used the Colorescience Sunforgettable Face Primer SPF 30 from August - a similar concept to the Miracle Skin Transformer, but less total plastic and more ghosty. And ehh. I say ehh to both. I suppose some people will like these, and I suppose I also like them in a certain way. Some days you feel gross and blotchy and it's nice to have some kind of crap all over your face. I guess I'm just an idiot who doesn't know how to use foundation. Or primer. I don’t even know what the difference is.
FINGERNAIL POLISH SHOWDOWN
Julep nail polish is 4-free, which means there are four bad things that aren't in it. Butter nail polish is 3-free, which means there are three bad things that aren't in it. Four is one more than three, so Julep wins. The Julep polishes took an awful long time to dry, much longer than the Butter and LVX polishes, so Butter and LVX win there. I'm wearing the coral-pinky Butter polish today. If it weren't such an awful color it would be fine. "Butter" is a gross name for a beauty product company. Butter is butter, not beauty products. My number one nail polish is still the LVX purple nail polish. Late-breaking update: Oh god! I just found out that LVX nail polish is 5-free! It’s free of FIVE bad things! LVX! Huge winner! There isn’t even a contest here.
I guess I'm not getting another Julep box until the end of February. So confusing. I thought I'd get the intro box, and then the February box. Or the January box. Or whichever one they just sent out. I don't know what's going on.
Monday, February 3, 2014
January BirchBox II - My first Unboxing Video
I received my first BirchBox. After being spoiled by the Blush Mystery Beauty Box with it's full size products, I was not as impressed with the Birchbox which everyone was raving about. The Box itself is very nice and would make a great box to put a gift in. The Mascara and Lip Balm samples are both .10 ounces.
A couple of comments about the video and the products.
100% Pure - Turns out this is the name brand of the Mascara company. On the bottle it says Black Tea Ultra Lengthening. Al the makeup gets it coloring from fruit dye and in the case of this Mascara from Tea.
Dr. Lipp Nipple Balm - Yes, it is Nipple Balm and yes you can put it on your nipples. This would be great if you had chapped Nipples from Nursing a Wee One or in my case Eczema on my elbows. This balm tastes very medicated and a little like Carmex lip balm.
Serge Normant Dry Conditioner - I've been wanting to try Dry Shampoo but have not heard of Dry Conditioner. The directions say to apply the Dry Conditioner after you use the Dry Shampoo. This seems kind of stupid to just continue to put products on your hair in the hopes that your hair looks and smells fresh. Warning in the video I can't get the cap off so I say S$#t.
Ruby Wing Nail Polish - I'm going to feel like Diana Ross with gold nail polish on. Seriously this is something 14 year old me would have loved but 34 year old me not so much.
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