Tuesday, April 15, 2014

April Blush Mystery Beauty Box

Blush Mystery Beauty Box! I'd been tracking this baby for a week. It got to town last Tuesday! But it sat in the post office all day and all night until the next morning, when they finally put it into my PO box. (Pro-tip for the ladies: have your precious beauty boxes delivered to your PO box during the winter so all the fancy products don't freeze waiting for you to get home from your shitty, shitty desk job that doesn't pay well at all and why do you even work there? It's not worth it, your blood pressure has gone up, you should quit and find a nice job picking up trash in parks or something. But definitely get your beauty boxes delivered to the post office in the winter.) (But if you're ordering records, get those shipped to the PO box during the summer so they don't melt. And in the winter, so they don't shatter.) (Ordering stuff is an art.)

Blush Mystery Beauty Box! This month, we received only five items, but four are full-sized, so anyone complaining about that should calm down.

This month, again, was curated by a BOY. The featured item he picked out is the Love Lips Collection Duo Crayon by La Bella Donna. This is a two-sided lip pencil thingamabob. The colors are nice but I'm not good about using these things.

We also got a full-sized can of Oscar Blandi Pronto Invisible Volumizing Dry Shampoo Spray. Half the internet is pissed about this, because we've gotten dry shampoo before, and half the internet loves this. Now that I'm a lady who goes to the gym, I use dry shampoo often, so I'm excited about this product. "Oscar Blandi" sounds very fancy but I think the fanciness of this product would be enhanced if they'd change the color of this can. It's brown. Brown is the color of poo. They should make it silver, which is the color of fabulous.

We also got a big bottle of Jonathan Infinite Volume Shampoo. Again, half the internet is pissed about this, and half loves it. Shampoo! Volumizing! Again! Some people are mad that we've gotten Jonathan products before (have we? have I?). I'm mad because this is "for fine/thin hair", which I misinterpreted when I was younger to mean that it would make your hair fine and thin, which I wanted. Who wouldn't want something to be fine? Instead, "for fine/thin hair" means that it should be used on hair that is already fine. So confusing.

We got a bottle of Cult Cosmetics Nail Polish. Some people got a greenish color, I got a dark pink. I am not a lady who wears pink or red nail polish (yet) so I'll probably give this away.

We got a small tub of Darphin Stimulskin Plus Divine Multi-Corrective Cream, which is some ridiculously expensive face stuff. It calls itself "multi-corrective divine cream", which is quite silly but very fancy, I suppose.

And then Blush always sends some free extras. And I got two foily things, and then TWO OF THE ELIZABETH ARDEN PERFUME BOTTLES that we got a couple months ago. Two of them. The bottles are very fancy and cute but I already have one! I'll give these away. I don't understand why they gave me two. Were they confused? Was it someone who was like, "I don't even care, I hate this job, I'll give this stupid lady two bottles of perfume ah ha ha."?

Guys, someday, at some point, my relationship with the Blush Mystery Beauty Box must come to an end. You get to a point where you have plenty of personal care items sitting in your bathroom, and then the beauty boxes become less and less exciting, and then you take to the internet and start complaining. Maybe I need to take a break for a few months.

I hope they start sending toothpaste and deodorant, because I could use some of that.

1 comment:

  1. I've been donating my unwanted items to the YWCA. They always need beauty products. I would have liked the dry shampoo and the normal shampoo.