Birchbox isn't so bad

One day I was at work and feeling particularly sorry for myself, so I decided to make myself feel better by signing up for Birchbox. Everyone on the internet hates Birchbox, so I was super excited about how much I was not going to hate it, just to be ornery. I was looking forward to this so much.

But then, my Birchbox box took forever and ever to get here. Birchbox has this cute little tracking thing that tells you when your box is born and cute stuff like that. My box was born in Tennessee and spent an unnecessary two weeks flitting around the midwest, stopping in places like Indiana and Missouri and Kansas. It took its sweet, sweet time getting here, clearly worrying about things other than getting to me. Sightseeing, going to the St. Louis Arch, stupid shit a beauty box really shouldn't be doing.

It finally got here today and I was so mad, I was planning to hate it so much. But then I opened it! It's not bad! There's nice little things in there! Here's what I got:

Gilchrist & Soames Body Lotion. In case you start thinking this hotel brand stuff isn't all that fancy, please note that there's French on it. It's not just body lotion, it's lotion pour le corps. And Gilchrist & Soames was EST. LONDON ENGLAND, so it's pretty posh, don't worry. I'll take this to work to use on mon corps or perhaps mes mains.

Supergoop! City Sunscreen Serum. This is an anti-aging UV damage repair complex that you put on your face. It will protect you while you are out in the city. No French on the tube but it's made in Australia and I find the lack of pomp refreshing, as I'm sure you do.

theBalm How 'Bout Them Apples? Cheek & Lip Cream. This is a tiny dot of pink stuff in a tiny magnetic book. I like this packaging quite a lot. When you open it up, there's a shirtless man in a cowboy hat to remind you why you're putting on this pink stuff. The color I got is called Pie.

Tea. One of the reasons everyone hates Birchbox is because of tea. Everyone on the internet hates tea. This month they sent three pouches of Mightly Leaf: Organic Earl Grey, Green Tea Tropical, and Chamomile Citrus. I'm okay with all of this.

The last item was in a fancy pouch. I opened it up and oh my god guess what came out (in addition to the thing that was supposed to be inside)?!!?? A little chocolate bar!!! I was surprised! I'm going to eat that chocolate bar so much tomorrow, oh man.

The thing in the pouch was a little pouch of Agave Healing Oil Oil Treatment, a.k.a. traitement a l'huile. They also talk to us in Spanish here. Now I can't be entirely sure but I kind of think I got this stuff in my last Blush Mystery Beauty Box. Did I? I don't actually know, but I think so, and I'm not going to get up and go into the bathroom to check. Please come back for my next entry when I update you on this.